Saturday, April 09, 2005

Xiaxue Killers

Any time someone stumbles upon a winning formula, it's bound to be repeated. The release of Wolfenstein 3D was the beginning of the first person shooter genre in the gaming world (ok, dorky example, sue me); boybands and teenage divas seem to rise and fall, but the winning formula of catchy, manufactured lyrics and saccharine, airbrushed good looks never fails. Judging from the steady increase in visitors to her blog, Xiaxue's rise to blogging stardom has been no fluke - there's definitely something going right in the way she maintains her online journal. Some might argue that it's all about her controversial, in-your-face, yet identifiably Singaporean style of writing. Some might argue that her success is due to her photoshopped good looks. Others may argue that she just instinctively knows how to court an internet audience.

Whatever the case may be, the fact remains that there are tonnes of blogs out there, and loads of attractive, young, female bloggers whose day in the sun may be just on the horizon. Who knows? With a couple strokes of internet fortune and a little time, we could witness the emergence of more blogging superstars in the mould of xiaxue. In fact, it could be argued that some bloggers like this exist already, waiting to be discovered. They may have been surf-stopped by Mr. Miyagi; some of them may have even been brown-ed, and one day, we could find ourselves worshipping the ground they blog on.

Today, takes you through a couple blogs which (in my, ostensibly bloated opinion) are on the up and up. While they might not be imitating xiaxue, and might even (in some rare cases) hate her, these blogs are drawn together by a couple common qualities:

1) Attractive, relatively young, female owners. While this is obviously not a prerequisite for blogging success, it definitely helps the cause of the website in general. I mean, who doesn't like looking at pretty girls? Even straight girls like looking at pretty girls. Related to this is:

2) Lots of pictures, particularly pictures of their sexy, sexy selves. If you've got it, flaunt it; there's something about a blog full of pictures of an attractive girl that you read about that makes mens' ... err ... hair stand. Nothing reminds you that you're reading a pretty girl's blog like seeing pictures of said pretty girl. I'll be the first to admit; it's pretty hot.

3) Engaging writing style. Even the most attractive pictures in the world could not make up for utterly braindead writing. There has to be a tangible person behind the writing. This is fairly self-explanatory.

4) Some semblance of a real life, and the willingness to share the juicy details online. One of xiaxue's best blog qualities is that she comes across as, above all, a real human being ... one that some talented punter might impress, or even, if he gets really lucky, get to meet. This is made possible by the fact that she blogs about her life, and you don't get the feeling that she's holding back. What could be more attractive than that?

There are a couple more minor points, but those are the main ones, and I've rambled on enough already. So, here we go, some blogs that could possibly be immensely popular in the near future:

DISCLAIMER: In case you guys were wondering, none of these ladies knows about this post as of yet, and I'm probably a little too lazy to tell them about it. Hopefully none of them mind, or think I'm a stalker. Then again, not like I really care either way. Whatever.

My tusheez

Silly or not silly, celly's definitely a babe.

After being a relative unknown in the blogging scene, things are starting to come together for Celly. Her post on the importance of appearances has gotten her linked by mr brown, mr miyagi, and Cowboy Caleb, among others.

Amidst rocketing traffic on her blog, Celly has continued to churn out amusing, humourous, and occasionally scatalogical entries that have kept her readers entertained and subscriptions to her blog on the up and up. She may be crass (like any of us care) and she may be a little flighty, but that's just part of her charm. In a year or two, I wouldn't be surprised if Celly's stock on the blog market goes through the roof.

Appeal: Anyone willing to wade through a barrage of "fyucks" (yes, fyucks) and KNNs to read about shits (wombat and human), genitalia and other finer things in life.

Picture Watch: Celly isn't afraid to look silly in her pictures, but she keeps those webcam shots coming, and the vast majority of them look damn fine.

If She Were Queen: We'd do our kegels, kebois, occasionally cuss in Japanese, and be damn happy about it.

ci'en exudes cool, and epitomizes hot has been in operation since mid 2004, and it's definitely gathered a following of its own. Ci'en is obviously one of the smarter cookies on the blogging scene, as evidenced by her flowing prose and the fact that she's reading law in Bristol (don't harass her guys, she might SUE you then you know!). She's eloquent, poised, and armed with her trusty digital camera; her photolog archive is worth a visit, even if it doesn't contain a single shot of her fetching self.

Ci'en also frequents a whole slew of concerts; fans may be interested to know that she's heading off to Glastonbury. As if seeing class acts like Massive Attack and Portishead wasn't enough. If you're reading this, miss, let it be known that we're all jealous.

Apart from being surf-stopped by Mr Miyagi a staggering three times, is currently number 19 on Rice Bowl Journals' Top 100 list. Ci'en has also been quoted on their site, something she reckoned was "the closest thing to blogging glitterati" she's going to get; who knows, Ci'en, your star may be ascendant.

Appeal: Anyone who appreciates well written prose and the occasional barrage of concert pictures. It seems that this site oozes cool, so be prepared to get your cyber-hipster-wear out. Or not. Whatever.

Picture Watch: While you might have to wait for pictures of the woman herself, when they come, they're worth the wait. I think she looks particularly fetching in this series.

If She Were Queen: We'd listen to better music, speak better english, and all be on the next flight to Britain.


Linda Chia is a swinging single, we wish we could get in the swing with her.

While 20-something Linda Chia confesses not feeling young any more, she's still definitely indulging in the vices of youth, smoking a little too much, enjoys the occasional drink, and is even working towards her motorcycle licence. She might feel the clock ticking down on her days in the sun, but this doesn't mean she's looking to call an end to singlehood and settle down. She enjoys her independence, and damn it, she's going to make it last.

We first saw Linda during the sexyblogger craze; Mr Miyagi, with his knack for sniffing out beauty, put her picture up in one of his posts. While her blog counter hasn't exactly been jumping jumping, it sure deserves to be, given her intensely readable musings on life, motorcycle practicals and the indicators that she's not exactly a teenager any more. Fans will have to be forewarned though; she's not easy to impress. Firstly, she's constantly surrounded by attractive men, and remains immune to their charms. Next, she lives with a motorbike racing champion.

Not that that should stop any of you from dreaming, of course.

Appeal: Anyone who appreciates the slightly more mature, considered sort of blog. People who can't stand young punks.

Picture Watch: There seems to be a pretty consistent flow of pictures about this site. And yes, they all look good.

If She Were Queen: We'd all have to get on our bikes.

Photo updated at Sandra's request; anything to make you happy, dahling

She's too sexy to care, but we forgive her

Sandra Ng is fresh out of Ngee Ann Polytechnic, and has a pretty, pink blog. There are a couple things about this blog, though. First, there are no comments; all electronic slobbering (including mine) must be put on Sandra's tagboard. Furthermore, it seems that the archives have mysteriously disappeared. Being the clever gal that she is, though, I'm sure she'll have them up and running in no time. Being the clever guy that I am, of course, I managed to hardwire the link for them. You can see February here, and hopefully figure out how to get beyond that yourself.

Anyway, Sandra is sweet. She likes cute furry animals, and makes food for her friends and family. She's so sweet, she even had a stalker. This obviously did not amuse Sandra (nor should it have). With looks like hers, though, it's no wonder. Sandra, unlike every other girl as attractive as her, was not featured by Mr. Miyagi. Her only claim to fame was a brief listing in the sexyblogger meme. Nonetheless, she's definitely worth a whirl, and she's single to boot. Apparently, though, she already gets scores of emails asking her out, so those tactics won't work. To get this girl's attention, fans will just have to do better.

And no, we don't mean stalking.

Appeal: Those who love sweet, cute girls. Don't we all? Yes, yes we do.

Picture Watch: When you get to the site, there are a whole bunch of pictures waiting for you down the sidebar. Sandra says 'A Picture Speaks a Thousand Words'. I say those words are all somewhere along the lines of 'hot'.

If She Were Queen: The world would be a better, nicer, pinker place for it.

Alright, that pretty much concludes this installment. It's tiring work, reviewing blogs; here are some of the blogs I shortlisted, just in case you're wondering:

Out of My Mind; while Joewei seems like a veritable babe, her tendency to swirlify her face makes it impossible to verify. Worth a visit, though.

Shelly Lives; You've seen her brown-ed, but the fact that this girl is married puts her too far out of the available bracket, in my opinion. I could be wrong though, and you could get beaten up by a commando. You're free to browse wherever.

amnezia's xanga; she's definitely cute, but the pictures are just a little too scarce. Besides, she apparently has a boyfriend, and that's never fun, is it.

Bohemia Bunnie; while even Cowboy Caleb was smitten by her, the fact that you have to cycle between lynn's photoblog and other blog is just a little too challenging for this cybersurfer.

Note that this is by no means an exhaustive llist. You can always email me recommendations; I'm always up for a good, you know, read.


Blogger CELLE spewed forth...

hahahha... well done dude! we having blogger queen pageant or waddD??

9/4/05 06:06  
Anonymous Az spewed forth...

I enjoy your posts immensely, and thanks for all the hard work and research. ahaha. ci-en and celly are hot.

9/4/05 09:02  
Blogger Mr Miyagi spewed forth...

Oh my lordy me, you've gone and done it! The blogdom chiobu guide 2005.

9/4/05 09:47  
Blogger ~*Starryluvly*~ spewed forth...

lol! Enjoyed reading through the list... now how about one for the ladies...? =p

9/4/05 12:15  
Blogger Sandra Ng spewed forth...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9/4/05 12:36  
Blogger TriplePeriod spewed forth...

Piang eh. This coverage on hot blogger babes is definitely gonna be a hot thread with lotsa comments from lotsa bloggers. I die die have to join in the commenting. Anyway, well-done dude. Few more blogs for us to stalk...

9/4/05 12:40  
Blogger Sandra Ng spewed forth...

Oh god i look horrible in that pic. Would you pls put a nicer one? haha. Celly is sweet looking =)

9/4/05 12:55  
Anonymous darrlyl spewed forth...

Sandralicious is hot hot hot! Salivating....

9/4/05 12:55  
Anonymous webspider spewed forth...

wah! my fave is sandra leh. can cook and animal lover. sweet.

9/4/05 12:59  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

hah this entry is so damn useful.

9/4/05 13:03  
Blogger Gabrielle spewed forth...

wah siao eh.. with this blog you shall rule!! heehee

9/4/05 13:13  
Blogger Daniel spewed forth...

oh man Ci'En is dropdead gorgeous with the brains to boot! Thanks for the referral heheh...

9/4/05 13:19  
Anonymous john spewed forth...

Sandra is smokin' hot! saw her pictures in a clubsnap forum also. she modelled for a bikini show.

9/4/05 13:32  
Anonymous nilsinelabore spewed forth...

You missed out:


9/4/05 13:35  
Blogger Scarlett Ting spewed forth...

absolutely droolsome!

and no wonder my traffic boomed. I've become an accomplice to the main killers. LOL.

celly is hot! Hot! HOT!

9/4/05 13:45  
Anonymous hong jun spewed forth...

eh dude sandra is from np. just graduated i tink. she's fucking sought after in sch btw.

9/4/05 13:59  
Anonymous gabriel spewed forth...

Sandralicious... the one from Np BIT? She's damn hot, but also damn dao leh.

9/4/05 14:03  
Blogger kelvin spewed forth...

Dude, this is an awesome one. =) Totally enjoyed the browsing.

9/4/05 15:20  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

Celle: Not a beauty pageant lar. Ok, maybe a bit. But you all win. And so do I.

az: yeah, I wasn't aware of the quest I was undertaking when I wrote this. Man, it was quite a mission. Glad you appreciate it though

Miyagi-san: Glad to be of service. Awesome.

starryluvly: Aiyah, what do you think THIS blog is? Are you saying I not HAMSEM???

...:yes, more blogs to stalk makes for happy surfing.

sandra: emu me lah. and I don't know if you could describe celly as sweet; probably more spicy.

darrlyl: AHBUDDEN?

webspider: I also like girls that can cook, but then, I can cook, so it's all good in the hood.

anon: glad you enjoy this stuff.

gabrielle: muahahahaha! cyber world domination! bring out my lasers!

daniel: any time, mang.

john: wah, I also want to see leh....

akamushi (or is it chi chong, too much jap alreeady): 1st blog, too chaotic, cannot read the blog. 2nd blog, all the photos not displayed on main website, need to crawl too far to find them. Also, peishan goes to my school. She lives down the street. Do we know each other?

Scarlett: Haha, if you'd stop photoshopping your nose into a pinwheel, you could have been a killer yourself. And yes, celly IS hot.

hong jun: No challenge, no reward, right or not? And thanks for the heads up, I edited the entry.

Gabriel: she may be dao in real life, but she's friendly on her blog...until you ask her out, though, I bet.

Kelvin: No problem man. I didn't know you had a journal; I linked your ass.

9/4/05 16:45  
Blogger Gabrielle spewed forth...

eh so late haven't sleep. Fallen in the same fate ah (studying all nite) or just plain surfing..(hopefully not porn I hope).

eh.. since u linked me.. then I shall link u too lah.

9/4/05 17:13  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

haha gabrielle; seeing as to how I'm in chicago, it's not late at all - it's actually just about to turn 6; the night's just beginning.

9/4/05 17:42  
Anonymous Jason spewed forth...

Sandralicious looks delicious man. Has the X-factor. Is she dating anyone currently?

9/4/05 17:55  
Anonymous Josh spewed forth...

eh dude you can be agent for these girls.... sure make money one.

P.S: Sandralicious's smile melts my heart.

9/4/05 18:20  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

9/4/05 19:08  
Blogger Ruok spewed forth...

Exceelleent guide dude. Jus hope those you missed out won't come for your ass, hehehe

9/4/05 19:59  
Blogger Linda Chia spewed forth...

You couldn't have been more astute in your description. Very observant.

And I'm deeply honored abt being featured, especially when your own blog is one of my regular reads.



9/4/05 20:11  
Blogger expat@large spewed forth...

So p*ssed off you ignored MY blog. I got all that it takes, except the right gender, good-looking photos, sexual content - no hang on, I got sexual content...

Never coming back here again! Grrr. ;)

9/4/05 20:35  
Blogger Bubblemunche spewed forth...

I tried taking sexy pictures of myself in a bid to boost readership, but I failed miserably. Why?!? WHY?!?!?!


9/4/05 21:59  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

wow. thank you.
......i feel so chiobu-ed
watch my next blog, I am going to fill it up with pics @_@

scarce no more.

9/4/05 22:36  
Blogger Ah 9 spewed forth...

women being chio = being blogged by others = more popular = more stalkers


good one, js.

10/4/05 00:40  
Blogger Adrian spewed forth...

I've always thought you were a pretty cool dude, but you've really outdone yourself this time, my friend. Totally awesome post. I am proud to be linked on your blog, man. *puffs out chest*

10/4/05 00:44  
Blogger CELLE spewed forth...

Thx for featuring me dude. fyuckin Awesome!. somemore giving metidulous details like the wombat, human shits, fyucks and kebois entries..
J u missed ut Adri thou..she's smokin hot too! U didn't pop her gandhi.. btw. has anyone come for ur ass for missing them out?

10/4/05 00:50  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

wow.... i'm surprise that Adri is not here though... she's hot and she writes real good prose.... plus she's on brown's links and was interviewed but was interviewed by cowboy caleb before(

go check out her blog at

10/4/05 01:14  
Blogger Unknown spewed forth...

What about me?


You left me out

10/4/05 01:22  
Blogger jllt spewed forth...

Ci'en is the prettiest! And she takes fab photos too!

The kind of girl that you want to hate but can't bring yourself to. Argh!

10/4/05 02:14  
Blogger Xiaxue spewed forth...

Grrrr! Threats!

10/4/05 02:19  
Blogger Scarlett Ting spewed forth...

Okay.. I shall post my untwirled pictures!!

Wait a minute.. till then you better gimme a good explanation why my name is struck off the accomplice list and NOT make it to killer.


So, better not.

10/4/05 02:20  
Anonymous justin spewed forth...

came across sandra's pictures in a forum! HWZ or SG girls i think. ppl bikini show model leh. super hot.

10/4/05 02:24  
Blogger ~*Starryluvly*~ spewed forth...

awww, I never said you're not hansem - just wondering when you'd put up a list of your worthy opponents, thats all. *grin*

10/4/05 02:35  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

jason: you ask me for what? you think I'm her pimp is it? you ask her lor! oh, and if she's single, tell me also, i also want to sian her leh!

josh: hahaha good idea; you help me convince them, and i'll do the promotion; we can split the proceeds.

anon: wah kao! ok, that was an oversight. i'd credit you, but you didn't leave name.

ruok: haha....if they come for my ass, i'm prepared. who knows? it might even be fun.

linda: your comment makes me feel warm and tingly inside.

e@l: haha good one, man. maybe you'll feature if i ever do a 'mr brown killers' post.

bubblemunche: I KNOW, right? Haiz, and I thought I was sek-see....

irene: wah, since you say until like that, i suppose i HAVE to bookmark your site now, right? not that i wouldn't have anyway, of course...

ah 9: your math is damn good, sia. what to do? the internet is a cruel place.

AQ: Haha...we might as well start the disgusting mutual appreciation club, mang - I like your work too.

Celly: I know Adri is hot, but if I were featuring the chiobus of blogdom, my list would be damn long, can! Seeing as to how she's so hot hot hot, I would pop her ghandi any day. I can't tell you how excited I am that she finally cited me. Ah, good times, good times.

unknown: show me the pictures leh!

t: yes, I know, we're all jealous of her. even I am. I don't know why, but somehow I am.

Miss Cheng: Oh, come now, you know I'm still your number 1 fan.

scarlett: haha, you unswirly, and i'll make an extra bonanza post about how excited i am.

justin: yes, she's hot. i'm painfully aware.

starry: haha, ok, if i find any, i'll make a post special for you. I haven't come across any yandao blogs as yet, though, so I have no idea when I'll be able to make said post.

10/4/05 03:44  
Blogger Popagandhi spewed forth...

I know, I know, I don't qualify for this pageant, cos I'm a gay man deep inside, and already fail on the 'female' count. :)

10/4/05 06:16  
Blogger Merenwen spewed forth...

I don't understand, why aren't I on this list, considering the irresistable combination I have of beauty and brains? *pouts*

10/4/05 06:28  
Blogger CaLi spewed forth...

wow. the girls ARE really hot ;) great recommendations for the chiobu blog guide of 2005. :) should xiaxue start to get slightly threatened? ;)

10/4/05 07:25  
Anonymous LiNdA spewed forth...

got time do one for handsome, cool, witty and humourous male bloggers lei. hee...

10/4/05 09:23  
Blogger Lynnylchan spewed forth...

Xiaxue is considered chio meh? (wah i'm asking for trouble here) But she is the undisputed queen of Singapore blogdom, no question about that.
Anyway, about my having 2 blogs... Blogger's updating system is quirky (read: flawed) and tBlog is so much better at displaying the page immediately. Hence the Blogger blog is only for frivolous photos. Anyway, with RSS feeds, reading both should be no problem, right?
Thanks for shortlisting me anyway, it's much appreciated.

10/4/05 09:30  
Blogger Sandra Ng spewed forth...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10/4/05 09:43  
Blogger Sandra Ng spewed forth...

you make me sound like a bimbo!

I'll have you know that i'm erm, quite smart.

grrrrr. don't let me catch you in sg. :P

10/4/05 09:44  
Blogger Ang Ku Kueh spewed forth...

I can't believe the no. of comments on this blog entry... Gosh, man, you spoil market lah, now every ugly gal will want to put up their best-looking friend as their profile pic....

1st, i need 2 get myself a friend...

10/4/05 10:08  
Blogger calm one spewed forth...

how dare you leave me out!?!?!?

10/4/05 20:34  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

adri: seriously, no, you are cool. and hot. and hot and cool. When I think of 'pretty Singapore bloggers who are also very, very clever, probably cleverer than me" I straight away think "Adrianna Tan". Really. No kidding. I'm even going to change my link to say that. Except it won't fit.

sheena: ok lah, linked you oredi! can or not, miss?

cali: xiaxue's 9000+ hits a day are a bastion of strength. I doubt she's losing sleep. besides, I'm a xiaxue fan myself.

linda: so many requests for this one! I know, I said I would do it one day...that one day will probably be when I turn gay. Don't hold your breath.

lynn: I gotsta say, yes, I think xiaxue is chio, no matter how photoshopped or whatever. I don't care. As for the 2 blogs thing, I totally understand gripes with blogger, but it's all about accessibilty and consolidation, and while I know RSS technology, the vast majority doesn't, I figure. Some things just work, well, in the way they work.

Sandra: 小姐,你不要冤枉我好吗?我是无辜的!

akk: aiyah, this is totally a one-hit wonder from being browned; tomorrow you see lah! my hits will go back down to 20 a day or something, because I am lousy.

calm one: I know, even though you look like wo-hen and jay chou combined, right? I will poke out my eyes as punishment. Right after I chop off my balls, which I will do right after I turn gay.

11/4/05 02:07  
Blogger Ivan spewed forth...

hey dude, an excellent post! Being a Malaysian, I wish our local bloggers babes are more like those featured on your post. ;)


11/4/05 03:32  
Blogger gracey spewed forth...

celly look gorgeous and sandy looks so sweet...linda look sexy..shld add more...

11/4/05 03:34  
Anonymous Dewee spewed forth...

Steady man brother!! This is even better than receiving Amex's top 50 Singapore Restaurant Guide 2005. You should charge subscription lah for link maintenance.

Men are sucker for looks (even more jialat when the looks are coupled with wit).

11/4/05 04:20  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

just cant help but post more comments on this one..should have a forum or

11/4/05 09:59  
Anonymous superfan spewed forth...

I like Celly cause she's so comfortable with expressing her wacky,warped side. That's so sexy.
Plus she makes me ROFLMAO

11/4/05 12:37  
Blogger Sandra Ng spewed forth...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11/4/05 20:03  
Anonymous simon spewed forth...

steady leh...the girls are gorgeous.... sandra is fucking hot! woot!

11/4/05 20:04  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

ivan: malaysia also got some hots babes bloggers what, just got to go looking. I recommend asking Kenny Sia, he surely got some good recommendations one.

gracey: aiyah, i AM adding more, every day, some more. hard work, you know.

dewee: yah lor, what to do, us men are always thinking with our, err, eyes. it's a curse, you know. some days i feel i'll never make it big, since i don't have a nice rack. haiz.

anon: don't worry, the comments will die down; this is the type of anomaly caused by being browned what, right or not?

superfan: i'll be sure to tell her that...right after i try to hit on her myself. hahahahaha. actually, no, i won't. i never said that, ok? don't tell people! shhh!!!

simon: AHBADDEN?

12/4/05 02:10  
Blogger CELLE spewed forth...

ah dei, now u sound like a pimp.. with all those adoring girls reporting to u and the blokes giving u thumbs up and thumbs down.. restecpt

12/4/05 07:39  
Blogger Scarlett Ting spewed forth...

Wahahahaa... pimp daddy..

Ivan: *waves* J did feature a msian. erm, wait, he shortlisted one. :P

(dude, i still waiting for an extensive post ya know.)

12/4/05 15:03  
Blogger crazycat spewed forth...

..roll eyes...

13/4/05 00:32  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

celle: i WISH i was a pimp. maybe one day.... haiz.

scarlett: know the score, miss.

cat: wah! don't roll eye at me leh!

14/4/05 03:23  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

aiyah don't put link just put phone number can already

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17/10/05 07:54  
Blogger Darkharf spewed forth...

Hey Hey, you gotta change the title for this post. I don't think the rest of the babes will kill Xiaxue, her blog has her own unique style. I'm a regular reader who creep into her blog often cos' she's one interesting blogger. (No, I am not stalking her and I ain't lesbian) ;) I am just being kaypoh... haha...

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