Tuesday, March 22, 2005

So, my new playstation 2 just came in. Yes, I know, everyone else has had one for ages. Yes, I know, the playstation 3 will soon come out and make my humble playstation 2 obsolete. Nonetheless, I've spent the greater part of today playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, and it's totally, mind-numbingly, awesome. If not for games like this, all of us would actually have to spend our time being useful human beings, instead of being able to escape to a magic la-la land where we all get to be bad-ass thugs who can beat up all the bad guys (or good guys) and steal peoples' cars because they are pretty (the cars, not the people).

So, other than the trip to Toronto, Spring Break has been pretty uneventful so far. We explored suburbia a little yesterday (no pictures from that; suburbia is bloody boring) and went to eat. Eating is awesome. Have I mentioned how much I love eating? I think eating is the best part of being a Singaporean; when we were in Secondary school, I remember doing some survey on the things you liked best and least about Singapore. They gave you options like 'stable government' and 'good economy' for things you liked, and options like 'lack of social freedom' and stuff like that for things you disliked. I picked none of the options, and wrote in 'food' for my favourite thing, and 'weather' for my least favourite. I mean, all the other things are important, but man, I eat every day, you know? I don't think about the government every day. I'm far too stupid.

Anyway, today I got my first fanmail from this site. This, I feel, is completely awesome. I know, fan mail is kind of a far cry from having beautiful women throw themselves at me. Perhaps this is because they are shy, and don't know whether I'm suitably attractive. Thus I've decided to put another face shot up. Yes, here is my face, in all its glorious detail:

You must be wondering where this awesome photo was taken. For your information, it was taken in a ridiculously swanky restaurant on the 54th floor of some tower or another in Canada. Yes, I'm just that classy. You must be thinking, 'holy shit, this guy must be loaded if he can eat in ritzy restaurants.'

You are partially right, in that I can eat at ritzy restaurants. However, this is due to the fact that I am damn stylo, rather than due to the fact that I am loaded. I am, in fact, super poor. Notice that I am drinking a coffee. That's all that I had. It was super expensive. I'm still broke. I spent so much on the coffee I even took another picture of it:

Notice the awesome view, as well as the nuts. The awesome view indicates, once again, how classy I am. The nuts, on the other hand, were free. They were also lunch. Yes, I'm that cheap.

Some beautiful women will be thinking 'oh shit, seeing as to how this guy is so cheap, he'd probably be a really lousy date.'

This is totally untrue. One day, I will be really incredibly rich, and then I will be a cocky bastard, and not have anything to do with poor bastards, because that's what rich, cocky bastards do. Hence, all of you better invest for the future and go out with me now, while I'm still a nice guy. Furthermore, I'm only cheap until you get to know me, after which I am super generous, as evidenced by this one time when I gave my friend a WHOLE BOX OF POCKY for his birthday. Pocky is damn tasty, you know; this proves my superb generosity.

Ok, so once again, hot babes please send emails to jschnorng@gmail.com

Alright, that's enough for now. I have to go back to increasing my street cred and killing people who piss me off. Sometimes, video games are just that much cooler than the real world. Unless lots of hot babes message me. Or people start sending me money. Either would be totally awesome. Yeah.


Blogger Unknown spewed forth...

Where was this?

Next time I'm up in Canada, might like to visit this place.

23/3/05 02:05  
Blogger Adalmin spewed forth...

That's quite pathetic. Sheesh. But yeah, we all have to start SOMEWHERE. Take a hint from GTA: San Andreas. Start THERE.


23/3/05 04:20  
Blogger speciousity spewed forth...

Meanwhile, some of us are trapped in what is becoming an increasingly interminable summer. (granted, this climactic state is not particular to sg but streches across an entire latitude.. but you get what I mean)

Re: pretty view. Can't even invoke the "but we're tourists" excuse to splash out on an Equinox brunch for the likes of that. So yay! go you =)))

23/3/05 05:58  
Blogger Adrian spewed forth...

Why is everyone putting up pictures these days?

23/3/05 06:25  
Anonymous Liz spewed forth...

i think i like you.

i think..

23/3/05 07:07  
Blogger ahdokboy spewed forth...

ahaha...i like your point about food being more important than the govt. that's some nice shit.

23/3/05 09:45  
Blogger suspiciousbastard spewed forth...

You look a bit like Alex Tu(or was that To?)

23/3/05 09:58  
Blogger Adrian spewed forth...

bastard: it's toh.

23/3/05 10:22  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

Have a response to all this stuff about photos, as well as a rant. You'll read all about it soon.

23/3/05 16:26  
Blogger CELLE spewed forth...

Frankly found the nuts next to the coffee very sexy..

Btw.. think you should define 'hot babe'.. u know like easy to follow criteria.. i wouldnt know if i fit into the category.. ^^

25/3/05 13:43  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

celly: I've seen your blog; you totally fit the category.

25/3/05 15:35  

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