How to Get Ahead (or at least in front)

So, I had dinner with Mr. QH today (you know, Mr. QH from the eat yourself silly post. I was in the library, studying, when he came up to me:

QH: Eh, what you doing?
Me: Wasting time lah, you blind is it?
QH: You eat already?
Me: No leh...why? Can you find a free dinner?
QH: Dunno...let's see...eh...I see first years.
Me: Steady, free dinner. You think it's ok?
QH: Aiyah, surely ok lah, I know them. Let's go!
Me: But...but...their dining plan is at the lousy dining hall!
QH: Yeah, that's true...what time is it?
Me: 6.30.
QH: Oh wait, we can look for the Singaporeans!
Me: Good idea!
QH: Let me just ask these guys, then if the first plan fails we got a BACK-UP PLAN!

So, over dinner, Mr. QH and I discussed yet more plans for getting small advantages in life. Honestly, few things are more important than the little battles you fight - getting in front of lines (why should you be in the back? OBVIOUSLY, your time is worth more than everyone elses!), getting to eat the most at dinner (after all, you're paying too, what - you have to MAXIMISE every cent, right? If your pennies aren't screaming, you aren't pinching them hard enough, you know!) and making sure you know EXACTLY when the next free stuff giveaway is (if YOU don't take the free stuff, someone else WILL). Mr. QH told me how he filled out the ipod offer THREE TIMES, not for an ipod, but for additional magazine subscriptions.

You might ask, why does Mr. QH do this? Are magazines really so interesting?

According to him, they're 'quite nice, what...you can read Wired and see what's hi-tech...not bad...free, you don't want meh?'

Mr. QH always has little rules. We discussed crowded buses as well. First, there are basic rules of positioning (these are quite simple - anticipate where the door will be and stand there; don't be a dodo and go and stand near the windows (you think you're the S.W.A.T. team or something, is it? Don't be stupid! You go into buses through the DOOR, not the window)! However, once you've done this, what about those guys who try and squeeze in front of you?



Mr. QH says: Just grab the railing!



By grabbing the railing, you cut off their path to the door, and if they push, you can just pull yourself up, guaranteeing that you will be FIRST up the bus. Well done!

Next, we have an addendum to the eating thing - some of you posted your suggestions, but none of them dealt with the concept of dinner conversation. Now, it is very obvious that you are stuffing your face if you don't talk. If you're eating non-stop, people are likely to think you're bad dinner company, anyway. The question, therefore, is how to maximise eating AND dinner conversation at the same time. Mr QH and I came to the conclusion that the best way is to ask questions the big eaters will want to answer - if they're football buffs, ask them about the coming season. If they're hardware geeks, ask them about the benefits of different sound cards. You get the picture. While these people are yakking, stuff your face. Be sure to pause occasionally, look interested, and make reassuring noises. If you're mouth is exceptionally full, interested grunts will also suffice.

Mr. QH wants to write a book with all his special tricks for getting ahead. I told him to start a blog instead, but he declined; he's too busy trying to squeeze himself a better GPA. He and I concluded that if you're about to receive an A- for a class, you're better off taking it pass/fail - after all, given our 3.8something GPAs, an extra 3.7 will pull you down, right? Think smart, people!

Besides, getting a blog will diminish his aura of mystery, he says.

We'll see, Mr. QH. We'll see.


Today's Blog Babe: crazy beautiful; yah lah, quite beautiful.