Game Over

Here's a conversation I had with a friend of mine just over a month ago, we'll call him J; I had just started reading xiaxue's blog; I thought it was cool.

J: what's the big deal anyway? isn't she just very normal?
Me: You know how many hits she gets a day?
J: how many?
Me: Like, almost 10,000.
J: har? really? why?
Me: I don't know. But man, that's a lot of hits.
J: ya lar...she's so funny meh?
Me: I think she's pretty good reading.
J: wah, 10,000 in a day?
Me: That's a lot of hits.
J: yeah, boy - who's reading her?
Me: Singaporeans, I guess
Me: Singaporeans love reading blogs.
J: really?
Me: I guess.
J: haha...yeah.
Me: Damn it lah, I should get 10,000 hits, I'm quite good what.
J: haha, i bet you couldn't even get 10,000 hits in a month
Me: Heh...what if I can?
J: i treat you to dinner lar.
Me: Sure or not?
J: haha...can...
J: if you lose then how?
Me: Eh...10,000 is damn hard, leh.
Me: You think easy ah?
J: haha, true, true...
J: so i am right, then.
Me: Fuck you.
Me: I will show you.
Me: You have yourself a bet.
J: eh, cheap dinner only hor
J: i got no money

If you notice, the web counter was started on March the 14th, 2005. It's now early in the morning of April the 13th, and, as it stands, I've gotten just over 10,500 hits. I have thus safely won myself a cheap dinner. Yes, that's right, I've been blog whoring myself for about 10 bucks. But you know what, it's not the cheap dinner that matters, it's the pride. Also, it's the fact that I had nothing better to do. Thanks to all of you for making this happen; if any of you are interested to know how I blog whored my way to success, well, I could post a guide to blog whoring, since I've been thinking so much about it. To be honest, though, for the past month I've been blogging like crazy - at least two hours a day on average. Now that the work's beginning to pile up, I might just have to ease up on this craziness a tiny bit, and get back to leading a normal life.

Yes, it's a triumph for cynical, clinical blogging. Hurrah for having a plan (and getting a couple lucky breaks)!

For your reference, though, here's a path to my 10,000:

March 15 - Xiaxue does a post on iq tests; I realize that this is a key moment in which I can siphon traffic, and post a funny reply. Based on that, my hits go straight up to 300 on the first day of operation, which is not bad for a first day of operation. I still get hits from that link; it's fucking amazing.

March 22 - The sexyblogger meme proves to be a godsend; I post my contribution on March 23rd; between my catchy website title and my *ahem* alternative sexyblogger pictures, I manage to yet again up my audience.

April 1 - I shoot myself in the foot with my April Fool's joke; site traffic drops, and doesn't recover till the 4th.

April 4 - After a series of mediocre posts, I come up with my online quiz post as well as my indictment of shit blogs. The second post, while being not so fantastic, sees me brown-ed; somewhere around this time, I notice my site on Mr. Miyagi's handroll.

April 9 - I make the Xiaxue killers post, and my victory is a mere formality. When the traffic skyrockets, I make a series of filler posts to ensure that it doesn't drop too rapidly. Fortunately, there are enough people sticking around to push the traffic just over 10,000.

Yay! I have a free dinner!

I'd like to thank:

1) Adrian - man, this guy was one of the first to link me, and definitely the first to plug me. This shows his exquisite taste in blogs. Actually, this guy really does have some pretty fucking good taste in blogs; every time he plugs a blog, I check it out, and it's quality. I'd been reading Celly's blog for a while when he plugged it, and I've been thinking "shit, I wished I'd plugged her first" ever since. Seriously, you should go read his blog, not only because it is cool, but also because he has a fucking good eye for the funny.

2) Mr. Miyagi - dude, this guy is arguably one of the nicest major bloggers in the Singapore blogging scene, in terms of linking you. I was plodding along, trying to get into the sidebars of Cowboy Caleb or Adri (she finally linked me in the end, though, so all the hard work paid off); I didn't think I'd be able to make it past surf stop, but wow, this guy is really nice. And cool. Thanks, man!

3) Cheng Yan Yan, for having such ridiculously high traffic that I was convinced I should be able to do it too.

4) Mr. Brown, of course, for brown-ing me.

5) Each and every one of you. Yay, you guys! You are clever!

Alright, now I'm going to slow down on the blog-whoring; like I said, if you want my secrets to blog-whoring gleaned after a month of intense blog-whoring (I think I'm pretty good at it, too), I can write a simple guide to increasing your traffic, while being:
a) not all that attractive
b) not all that intelligent
and c) kind of crazy.

For now, though, I'm going to sleep, and I'm going to wait for my fucking free dinner. Yeah.

Oh, right, before I sign out:


Today's Blog Babe: EGOMANIA SYNDICATED - for the first time, I'm featuring a girl I (sort of) know in real life. I just ran into her today, and I have to say that, for all of you who don't trust blurry webcam pics, this is the girl you should be stalking. She goes to my school, which is allegedly ridiculously difficult, and she's kicking it's ass, which means she's also ridiculously smart. So yes, this is one of those brains and beauty combinations, once again. Oh yeah, she writes real good, too. Clickety click your way to her page as fast as you can!