Monday, April 11, 2005

What Blogs Are Made For

Thanks to the fact that I've now been brown-ed (ok, technically this is the second time he's linked me, and the third if you count the sexyblogger meme, but who's counting?), I've gotten a flood of suggestions for sites I should check out, and questions as to why I didn't include so and so or whatever. Being the ridiculously free person that I am, I've looked over most of the new applicants, and have decided that if I were to list every good looking female blogger out there, I might as well turn this into a goddamn chiobu blogger directory. However, to do all these hots babes justice, I've decided to start a new "blog babe" addendum to my posts. If Mr. Miyagi has surf stops, I suppose I can have something similar, albeit with a slightly different criteria (actually, judging from his eye for beauty, perhaps our criteria might not be that dissimilar).

And yes, finally I can get back to writing whatever the fuck I feel like. As it should be.

I hope you noticed the template changes, because if you haven't, you must be fucking blind, and that would make it hard for you to read this blog. If you actually ARE blind, and someone is reading this blog to you, I apologize (actually, I don't, but hey, the guy reading this, don't tell the blind guy, because he's a fucking dick anyway). I was on campus today, looking at my blog (I'm obsessed with myself, and my blog) on internet explorer, and I realized the font was so big it looked like it came out of a 3-year-old's story book. To cater to all you internet explorer users, I've decided to change my font to something smaller, even though my better instinct tells me to hit you on the head and tell you to change to firefox already, because I use firefox, and it's cool. Tell me if you like the new colour scheme, since being colour deficient, I can't really tell if the colours go well together. Kenny Sia has already stated his preference for this new colour scheme, saying that my background colour reminds him of cum. Thanks, Kenny, thanks a lot. I suppose this is fitting, though, given the title of this site.

If you haven't surmised by now, I'm a fairly random person. While this particular blog has been operation for a little under a month, I've actually been blogging for close to 3 years now, and started my first website somewhere in 1999. Seeing as to how, for the first time, my traffic is finally booming, I'm beginning to ask myself certain questions about blogging, such as 'when will I start getting money / marriage proposals / money / jobs / mailbox flooded with emails from hot babes / money / money / money' already? I've resigned myself to the fact that, in all likelihood, this will never happen. So, the question is, what the hell do I do with my blog? Every time I talk to people about blogs (lately I do this a lot, since blogging is my latest obsession), they say things like, 'oh, my life is boring, I don't have anything to blog about.'

What, you think my life is interesting, is it? To be honest, I doubt anybody's life is THAT interesting. It's all a matter of how you write about it, how much you play up situations. Boring lives don't make blogs boring, boring people do. Increasingly, I find that blogging is, essentially, another means of writing for an audience. Don't give me this rubbish about 'blogging for blogging's sake'; that's fucking stupid. Blogging, in itself, can't be intrinsincally rewarding, unless you have a fetish for keyboards or computer screens. Wanking is intrinsically rewarding. Eating is intrinsically rewarding. Drugs are intrinsically rewarding (THOUGH THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU, OK, SO DON'T TRY THEM). Blogging, however, must be done for a purpose - there must be an audience you're trying to reach, and there must be something you want to say to them.

I'm still trying to figure out what my message is, and who I'm trying to tell it to, but for now, let's assume that my message, in very rough terms, is 'I'm fucking awesome' and my intended audience is 'the whole fucking world'.

There you have it, there's my mission statement. To tell the whole fucking world that I'm awesome.

What's yours?

Today's Blog Babe: Melissa Lim, courtesy of Timothy; because she's such an interesting read. No relation whatsoever to the fact that she's a chiobu, or that there are pretty pictures of her here and here.

Oh, special mention to Sheena for her '"irresistable combination" of "beauty and brains". I'm quoting her, here, but that shouldn't stop you, because we all know confidence is incredibly sexy.


Blogger Merenwen spewed forth...

Ok ok so you think I don't have enough pics on my blog. Check out here, and here.

Hope you're happy now, and yes I know, I'm shamelessly plugging my blog. ;p

11/4/05 02:00  
Blogger Cowboy Caleb spewed forth...

dude I prefer this layout. Much easier on the eyes because of the background colour.

Eh can reduce the no of posts on the page or not? Loads quite slowly leh.... just suggesting hor.

11/4/05 02:50  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

Eh, do you know if AIM can be used in Singapore? Lalalalalalala......LALALALALA

EH, how do you know my full name? wah, you really read blogs thoroughly ah. You're like better than windex and clorox man :-D


11/4/05 02:54  
Blogger Kenny Sia spewed forth...

Once brown-ed, you boom, and now hot babes all over Singapore are waiting to be BigFuck-ed.

As for marriage proposals, I'm sure it'll come. I'm still in awe I got a marriage proposal from swirly mouth babe Scarlett Ting of for my April Fool's post. But I think she's forgotten about me now that MotoGP is around the corner.

Truth to be told, you're a blog star on the rise. Congrats, mate!

I still think you look like David Tao. And that's not a good thing.

11/4/05 04:34  
Blogger Gabrielle spewed forth...

nicer to read.

haha looking fwd to new chiobus to look at everyday now. :p

11/4/05 05:09  
Blogger Mail Order Bride spewed forth...

I can't seem access Melissa's blog? Hmm.

11/4/05 06:24  
Blogger Adrian spewed forth...

Goddammit where'd the cool dark layout go? Oh well, the posts are still good.

11/4/05 06:57  
Blogger Claris spewed forth...

better template. black agst white background. :) and font size reduced. great! someone shd do a yandao blogger directory too.. hmmm

11/4/05 07:14  
Blogger TriplePeriod spewed forth...

In Blogo-terms, another lad-dee blog, "Cummed'on by Big Fuck. Hur hur hur...

11/4/05 08:17  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

you're getting boring. honest.

11/4/05 09:38  
Blogger jordangoh spewed forth...

I do actually prefer this background.

And DUDE! THANK YOU for the "Xiaxue killers" post.

So there. My first comment after reading this blog for the last 2 weeks.


11/4/05 10:33  
Blogger jllt spewed forth...

I do agree that people always blog to reach someone. There's a voyeur in the readers and an exhibitionist in the bloggers.

No crap shit about blogs being a private journal. Hate people who get offended when flamed for their posts la. Someone is reading. You want secrets? Don't blog.

Also notice some bloggers get more exhibitionistic after getting more traffic. Why ah? Perhaps Big Fuck can explain from his psychological perspective.

11/4/05 10:43  
Anonymous christina spewed forth...

haiya. Just blog lah. You got your message across. Haha I'm like dragging all my friends to read the Big Fuck. Cuz he is fucking funnie. lol.

11/4/05 11:31  
Blogger CELLE spewed forth...

luv, I reckon it's irresistible not irresistable, typo on ur last para. I like ur white blogskin, but I kinda miss the black one.. somehow.. So who's gonna do the blogdom hunk guide?

11/4/05 12:41  
Blogger YellowPony spewed forth...

No marriage proposals, but if you ever find yourself in my neck of the woods again, I'd be happy to put you up in the Cabbagetown House. I'm catering that way. And I'm guessing there is much more to Toronto than what you've seen. . .So, it's a proposal of sorts!

11/4/05 14:55  
Blogger Panda Gets Bear spewed forth...

omg how did you get so internet-popular! this is ridiculous.

and damnit, why did i get bumped down on your links :( alphabetic order-schmalphabetic order.


ps. i am the irresistable combination of beauty and brains. yo.

11/4/05 15:04  
Blogger ~*Starryluvly*~ spewed forth...

*likes the new layout*

11/4/05 21:05  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

sheena: heehee...i plugged you already, lah, despite my deep animosity towards united. unfortunately, that is all i can do.

cowboycaleb: wah, thanks for the input; I was actually doing exactly that as you posted the comment; always got good ideas ah, you.


kenny: wah, your words are so kind, leh, make me blush. hahaha. can join disgusting mutual appreciation club also. oh yah, i checked out your comments, and indeed found said marriage proposal. hahaha....such is the life of a blogger.

gabrielle: haha...if i am slow, there's always Miyagi-san; he gots a real nose for chiobus, you know.

juicypout: i checked, can leh! anyway, you've been miyagi-ed. i also linked you, but i just found out you got double fortune.

AQ: what to do, my cataracts were acting up. no chioce, lah.

claris: you do lah, i'll link it straight away. I'm damn lazy, sia.

...: if i had that much cyber cum, this place would turn into bukkake central. not a pretty sight.

anon: if i was interesting every day, i would stop school and turn pro already. cut me some slack lah can or not?

jordan: the least i could do, man. thanks for reading this. yup.

T: aiyah, it's because they all crave more more more - attention is bloody addictive. luckily, i have my head on my shoulders, and i know that this surge of traffic will probably not last very long. i'm prepared, man. it's ok.

christina: is that you, christiiina? as in, the one i know? anyway, you're a sweetheart regardless. cheers.

celle: Luckily, it's not MY spelling mistake, but sheena's. i quoted her, what - you think I'm a spell check machine is it? My english so rousy.

yellowpony: holy smoke! now THAT'S ONE HELL OF A PROPOSAL! YEEHAW!

mlle b: come up with a better moniker for your site and i'll put it up in a flash. also, it's only a matter of time before i feature you. i'm just waiting for a particularly fetching photo....your last one came close, though. hot damn, girl. more! more more!

starry: +++fanks, miss+++++

12/4/05 02:04  
Blogger Injenue spewed forth...

did u draw yourself, yourself? if u did, i'll give you a big star for that drawing. hehe..

12/4/05 12:34  
Blogger xue spewed forth...

I'd have to politely disagree on your analysis of the reason for blogging. I blog as much to keep a record of my life as I do to reach out to an audience and keep my friends and family informed about what's going on with me. In fact, the main purpose for my blogging isn't to entertain or communicate to others, but to ensure I won't forget certain episodes.

To be fair, I am quite a rare species since I have the memory of a goldfish. :P

13/4/05 16:48  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

injenue: yes, I did. sort of. I could post a tutorial on that, I suppose; it's not hard. I sort of traced over a photo, but mainly, yeah, it was drawn.

xue: your disapproval is noted, and I guess you're right, in that there are several different means of blogging, and different possible intended audiences. In the end, though, I figure that, if you want to create a shareable record, mass emails, or password protected online journals probably work better. Open blogging, in my opinion, is an admission that you don't care who reads your blogs, isn't it?

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