Sunday, April 24, 2005

On Drawing Silly Faces

You know something's wrong when I type more than one serious entry a week. Seriously, what is wrong with me?

When I was 13 or 14, I'd spend sundays with my friends from church, most of whom were older than me; all the kids my age had to go home, and I'd be loitering around town with people in their late teens, wandering the streets of Orchard.

Anyway, being the older people that they were, some of my friends had cars. One day, I was trying to irritate one of my friends into driving his car from point A to point B (I was 13, ok? Try and convince me that YOU weren't irritating at 13) and he replied, 'aiyah, here are my keys, you go drive, lah!'

Now, at this point, I had two options - I could either back down and walk (the sensible option) or I could actually take his keys, go off and look for his car (note that I didn't even know where his car was parked) and, presumably, try to drive it somewhere. This would most definitely be the stupid, dumb-ass, makes no sense, what-the-hell were you thinking option.

Two hours later, I found myself wondering what the hell I was thinking. Why the hell couldn't I back down and say, 'ok, fine, I lose,' and get on with it? The problem is, more often than not, I really don't know when to back down, don't know when to say I'm sorry, and don't know when to say enough's enough.

Today I was woken up by a phone call from a concerned friend about an entry that he felt could trigger a Chengzhan-esque wave of shit directed against your humble electronic correspondent. He even wrote a blog entry about it, in which he figures I have 3 days to act before things go to hell. I suppose the gist of his message is that it isn't worth it. In a way, he's right - if the shit really hits the fan, it won't be worth it - it's not worth having your family shamed, having your blog live in infamy, possibly being forced to shut down, all of that - that would royally suck.

Somehow, though, there's a big part of me that just doesn't want to take the entry down.

Maybe it's because I'm the sort of guy who hates being told off, maybe it's hubris, or maybe it's just my firm belief in the fact that things like this shouldn't matter. It's really distressing that people should care when you draw a moustache on a picture. It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't hurt anyone. It doesn't say anything - or maybe it does, maybe it just questions what exactly we hold sacred, what we hold inviolable, and questions, just for a second, whether these things are worth keeping sacred, whether any many can be held in such high regard that even his image should be revered.

You see, there's a reason why I don't draw moustaches on Jesus. Any politician, though, no matter how wonderful he is, is still just a man. I can't help feeling that, if I take down my entry, I'm tacitly admitting that he's more than he is, that the man is sacred and inviolate. While I respect all that he's done for my country, and think he's truly a pretty formidable man, I don't think he's a demi-god. I think he's a man who should be able to tell that, in the end, some jokes are, in the end, harmless, regardless of whether or not they are funny.

If you guys think otherwise, and if anyone is really deeply offended, email me, and I figure I'll reconsider taking down the post. For now, though, here's my graphic response:

I found this picture when I was searching google for 'tan ah beng'; what a cute baby!

I wonder if people will think I hate babies if I draw a moustache on this baby.

Anyone who knows me will tell you I love Arsenal, and I think Mssr. Wenger is awesome:

Nobody told me he was actually a pirate!

Here's Mr. Mao:

Why does Mao rhyme with cow? It's a sign!

I have absolutely nothing against Tony Blair:

But his drag queen tendencies alarm me:

So, in conclusion, I'm sorry, everyone:

...sorry I forgot to shave.

Oh yes, sorry for not telling you that I am an evil lizard demon from hell, too. I forget to mention that from time to time.

Today's Blog Babe: Asking for the Sky; I'd actually been reading her blog for a while (i.e. ever since she linked me), but it took an extra recommendation from suspicious bastard before I realized she was linkworthy. Ok, I'm out.


Blogger Panda Gets Bear spewed forth...

wow i blink and you have a new post. you're a psycho freak.

24/4/05 22:04  
Blogger Panda Gets Bear spewed forth...

ps, wtf is with the swirly faces of these blogbabes you keep linking? it's retarded to say the least.

24/4/05 22:05  
Blogger MaKan GuRu spewed forth...

People need to get a sense of humor man! dude, don't you dare freaking pull down that uncle lee pic post. if you do you little chicken shit, I will disown you and not read you anymore. People here seriously need to lighten up, so what if we are infentile? crap Monty Phyton can be considered infentile, but they are some of the most intelligent guys out there.

Being serious is easy, being serious AND funny at the same times is what is difficult.

24/4/05 22:22  
Anonymous christina spewed forth...

not bad...your mao cow beats warhol. but then again, i don't really like warhol...oh wellz.

i think mr. leeky should be honored to have his face so wonderfully editted and bloggered. right?

24/4/05 23:43  
Blogger ~*Starryluvly*~ spewed forth...

Keep the pics up! Anyone with half a brain can see its humour... everyone else... should stay off the internet =P

24/4/05 23:51  
Anonymous Sugarrush spewed forth...

Huahuahuhaua... nice pics! I like the baby one the most. You made him look a little like xiao xin (the flirtious little bastard).. hahahaha..

25/4/05 00:04  
Blogger poisonlady spewed forth...

My friend told me about ur site, blackhighheels wrote bout u, decided to pop by and take a look.

Good job!!

25/4/05 00:17  
Blogger Claris spewed forth...

hw abt drawing me a silly face of my own and email me? :x

25/4/05 00:34  
Blogger suspiciousbastard spewed forth...

Well, the more successful a person peceives himself, the more likely that he's going to become a tightass. That's probably the reason why most of us are a bit uneasy about seeing him altered on this site, and not because we actually think that he's on par with Jesus. Tightasses are dangerous. Oh, and you probably won't like my sister. She's attached, and besides, she's a b*tch sometimes. Though she's recently lent me a digital camera, so I shouldn't really say that....

25/4/05 01:24  
Blogger Gabrielle spewed forth...

what's with drawing faces?? its soo.. secondary school... i only rem those ahlians doing it. nv really understood what's the big deal about drawing faces le... how? something wrong with me?

25/4/05 02:04  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

mlle b: oh, you're so scathing. it's sexy. not that i'm flirting.

makaguru: haha, fair enough fair enough, i think i will leave my drawings up.

christina: i wouldn't say i can challenge warhol, but hey, thanks for the compliment.

starry: haha, the problem is that most people with half a brain somehow still manage to navigate the interweb. what to do?

sugarrush: yeah lor. i like the baby pic too. i think it's funny.

poisonlady: good job doing what? typing html code? picking the colours for my background, or drawing pictures? ah well, thanks anyway. I live for the approval of strangers.

claris: why don't you send me pictures of yourself first and see how i feel? more scandalous pictures will elicit better feeling. NOT THAT I AM FLIRTING. for all flirting, please refer to my honorary hot babes manager, makanguru.

sb: you have a pretty good point, it's true, but i guess i have to stay true to my principles. what principles, you might ask? this is my point exactly. as for your sister, aiyah, at least send pictures, mah!

gabrielle: haha, try primary school. which is the point. it's damn fun to draw funny faces, just because, what the hell, why not?

25/4/05 02:58  
Blogger Shortphat K spewed forth...

dude, blog babe recommendation...

25/4/05 04:47  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

reading ur blog makes me happy
i hardly see the humour in the pics tho....u write better than u draw, in my opinion...
u dun blog as quickly as the next time i refresh the page tho...=(

25/4/05 05:44  
Blogger crazycat spewed forth...

i happened to be having a moment of depression when i open your blog.. thanks for making me grin again.. arigato!

fuck-san, can i have the honour of linking you to my humble boring blog?

25/4/05 06:57  
Blogger crazycat spewed forth...

on 2nd thot, i might not be link-worthy! omg!

25/4/05 07:25  
Blogger CELLE spewed forth...

dude.. u look good with moustache and yellow eyes..!!! I am droolin

25/4/05 07:37  
Blogger ~*Starryluvly*~ spewed forth...

Am I the only one who can't access the friendster link? *pout*

25/4/05 08:23  
Blogger crazycat spewed forth...

me too... The page you have requested is not found or available:

25/4/05 08:42  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

shortphat k: i browsed, i liked, i added to my list. cheers.

anon: i will endeavour to draw less pictures and write faster to satisfy your refreshing tendencies.

cat: of course you can link me; also, I fixed the link.

celle: heh. based on that statement, i think i will have to get a pair of lizard eye contacts or something.

starry: i was just missing an http, lah. paiseh paiseh.

25/4/05 09:09  
Blogger suspiciousbastard spewed forth...

Hey, J, did you receive my email?

25/4/05 09:50  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

Keep the damn pictures! let others go fuck themselves.

25/4/05 09:57  
Blogger sassyjan spewed forth...

Hey there, Thanx for f*cking :)

25/4/05 11:04  
Blogger Evelyn spewed forth...

Here you go!

25/4/05 12:12  
Anonymous Mr Leeky spewed forth...


Man, I can't believe you did that shit to my picture. I'm going to sue your fucking ass off. Because that's what I do, I read blogs all day long, looking for people who deface my pictures or take my name in vain, and use all my considerable influence to put them in jail. So what if they are just undergraduates playing childish pranks who really respect me despite making fun of my pictures and who openly say they respect me? I just can't get past the fact that they drew moustaches on my picture because I am just that petty, so sue me (heheh, just a little joke, your lawyers ain't shit). So, Mr. Big Fuck, prepare to get your ass fucked big time in the big house, asshole.

Mr. Leeky.

25/4/05 12:24  
Blogger ~*Starryluvly*~ spewed forth...

ok, at the risk of sounding even more like a bimbo... I am still getting the error 404 page on friendster *hides under the table*

25/4/05 14:30  
Blogger Melissa spewed forth...

Dont worry, just take a look at

But if really worst come to worst, dont go back to singapore lah! cool pictures by the way! I like the mao zedong one.

25/4/05 15:22  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

aheruihurieahrueri J, you damn funny la! Poor baby man...... You make the baby look from damn cute to damn ugly.
LoL, is that a picture of Queen of somewhere in UK, topless? with titties censored??

25/4/05 15:48  
Blogger Gloria spewed forth...

J, it's ok, you can't get sued for that post. It's not defamation, don't worry. And you're not a scholar so no one will care. (You're not a scholar right?)

25/4/05 16:12  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

J's the not to love a guy like tat

25/4/05 16:49  
Blogger MaKan GuRu spewed forth...

Hey J, don't forget to get your tongue forked man! you got to give Celly the total package she is asking for!

25/4/05 21:40  
Blogger Sandra Ng spewed forth...

why don't you show ppl the 'head swim' pic you created using my face?? grrrrrrrrr

25/4/05 22:00  
Blogger Ah 9 spewed forth...

heng picture is not left lying around on my blog...hahahhaa

25/4/05 23:48  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

sb: got the mail, replied, etc, etc.

anon: yes, they can fuck themselves.

jan: wah biang, only on the internet will a girl thank me for fucking her. oh, how i wish this happened in real life.

evelyn: joking only lah! i cannot actually wear contact lenses one; my optic gag reflex is too strong.

mr. leeky: i am crapping my pants. oh wait, no, that's my cat. bad cat.

starry: haha...err...try hitting refresh and trying again? i don't know what else to tell you; it's just my fan club, lah.

melissa: fanks, miss; aiyah, i didn't think i'd get into trouble lah, just playing safe.

IA: no lah! it's a german woman. and not topless. I'm decent, ok.

gloria: if i were, i wouldn't admit it....yeah....ok.....

makanguru: wah biang, if my tongue was forked, i bet i'd be damn popular lah.

sandra: you really want me to? because i will....

ah 9: haha...yah man...larkee! scarly i draw you then you know!

26/4/05 01:21  
Blogger sassyjan spewed forth...

haha~ maybe that depends on who u're f*cking!

26/4/05 01:30  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

haha...maybe if i tried some old lady or something...they'd thank me...if they didn't have a heart attack.


26/4/05 05:54  
Blogger sassyjan spewed forth...

sounds uncannily like the Little Red Riding Hood story starring Kennysia!! hahah~

and in that case, they sure freaking go on their knees and thank you (plus beg u for...) MORE lor~ haha.

26/4/05 10:35  
Blogger sassyjan spewed forth...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

26/4/05 10:35  
Blogger sassyjan spewed forth...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

26/4/05 10:35  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

Heh...I'd rather not.

Though having people beg you for lovin' is kind of a trip.

Not if they're 80 though...I got standards one, ok.

26/4/05 20:54  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

Cool pics, I guess you have quite the imagination.

How about getting some contact lenses while your at it too. ")

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