Mickey Loves Money

I'm in Orlando, Florida, on my pseudo-godfather's laptop; we've finally moved beyond dialup connections, and onward to the great promised land of wireless internet. Unfortunately, it's kind of hard to do photo-editing with a touch-pad. I tried for a bit, but totally gave up. Fortunately, we can always rely on google images:


'that's right... tell daddy to give me all your money'

For those of you bright sparks who have yet to catch on, I'm scheduled for a visit to the magic kingdom tomorrow. Let me tell you, these play-dates with Mickey and friends don't come cheap. A one-day 'magic your way' pass will set you back US$59.75 per adult. Seeing as to how they define 'adults' as anyone aged 10 and above, I suppose a large proportion of those paying adult fares in the disney theme parks would have barely gotten used to the fact that they're no longer sperm. For a party of five, this comes up to about US$300. Couple this with the fact that there are FOUR disney theme parks in Orlando - The Magic Kingdom, Epcott Center, MGM-Studios and Animal Kingdom, as well as the fact that each ticket only gets you into ONE of these parks, and you're looking at spending a small fortune paying these bastards for the pleasure of waiting in line. We're in Orlando for 3 and a half days, which means we're looking at US$900 to Mickey's bank book. Is it just me, or is this a lot of money?

I've been to plenty of theme parks. You might think that the hefty fees would keep the crowds at bay, but, unsurprisingly, they don't. I was recently at six flags, and in the 4 hours I was there, we managed to get on a grand total of 4 rides. I know, fantastic, right? Given that I spend, say, ten hours, and sit on, say, 10 rides, that will be roughly 6 bucks per ride. Thus, I will be lining up an hour to pay 6 bucks for each ride.

There's obviously a cheaper way - I could always buy a 'magic your money away' pass for 3 days - this would cost US$171 per adult, and would save us a whopping 10 bucks each. Oh, joy. Considering I also want to go to Universal Studio's 'Islands of Misadventure', so that I can give them my money as well, I suppose I'll pass.

So, the question remains, why the hell am I putting myself through this?

The answer, of course, is that Daddy's paying. You're only a parasite for so long, you know, and I plan to make the most of it. If my kids want to get on a magic roller coaster, though, I'll just drive real fast through Genting highlands. Given my wonderful driving skills, that would be scarier than any rollercoaster. I figure my parents have given disney enough money for one lifetime.