Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Super Pow-Ka-Leow Meme

I've noticed a whole bunch of memes floating around the blogosphere lately. By this, I mean that an alarming number of posts I've read lately have been distinctly meme-inspired, or merely meme posts. It seems like the whole blogging community has hit a wall in terms of creativity or something, so we're all recycling posts and stuff. This is alarming, you know - if this happens, the blogosphere will be taken over by idiots, then what will we do? That's right, boys and girls, we will be SCREWED!

Unfortunately, I am, as always, the last person in the world to stop the rot. In fact, I'm joining in, because I'm one of the world's premier idiots. I have decided to do the all-encompassing meme - the super-kiasu, pow-ka-leow meme.

PART 1: These are the following memes you will satisfy by doing this pow-ka-leow meme.
1) First, there's the musical baton meme. Damn musical baton meme.
2) Next, there's the musical baton meme's stunted cousin, the movie meme.
3) To finish the unholy trilogy of 'how much pop culture I've soaked up like the brainless sponge that I am' memes, there's the literati baton. This one I haven't got yet, which is fortunate, seeing as to how I don't read books because I am illiterate.
4) Next up, we have the interview meme.
5) Finally, we have the sgblogconspiracy meme, because obviously, with all the memes, it's a fucking conspiracy.

I also include my pig from the pig drawing test going around, for good measure.

PART 2: Answer the following questions. If you don't want to answer these questions, you can change them. But you must try to fulfill your meme obligations, ok! Otherwise how will it be a pow-ka-leow meme?
1) Why are we meme-ing?
2) What is your favourite book-turned-into-movie-turned-into-soundtrack that is awesome and why? Also, how much pirated media do you have on your computer/bookshelf/stash and why does this make you cool? If this question is too complicated, an answer like, 'I am damn cool, I listen to funky music and read good books.' will suffice. Extra bullshit optional.
3) Talk about your sex life. If you look at the interview meme, the question behind all the questions is basically, 'got dirty stories or not?'
4) Talk more about your sex life. If there's nothing to be said, tell us something embarassing so we can laugh at you. Failing this, take silly pictures of yourself.
5) Who is behind the blog conspiracy in Singapore and what music does he / she / it / the devil like? State your evidence.

Ok, here are my answers:

1) We meme because it's part of the giant conspiracy, of course. You see, the grand government machinations behind the major Singaporean blogs have all run out of steam already. By getting everyone to meme, then nobody will do horrid, nasty things like criticise the government and get themselves sued. We will all be happy campers and be happy.

Have you ever noticed how a meme is like a form? Answer question 1, answer question 2, answer question 3. You see, on top of keeping us occupied, the government is keeping you well trained; well trained to fill out forms. Every government in the world loves happy form fillers.

Not so happy form fillers would also suffice, though.

2) Given that the government is watching this blog, there is no pirated stuff on my computer. Hell, I don't even have a computer. I access the internet through my collection of radioactive mice. That's why my pictures are so grainy, you see - mice have shitty eyesight. Even radioactive ones.

My favourite book turned into a movie is trainspotting, and it has a cool soundtrack, too. I totally win, because I am awesome.

3) Yesterday I picked up two girls in downtown Amsterdam. We went down one of those canals in a boat, because I am super rich. After this, we went to one of those infamous Amsterdam coffee shops and got so high on drugs which would be illegal anywhere else in the world (particularly Singapore) and then adjourned to a seedy hostel for discovery channel style sex.

What do you mean, you don't believe me? You asked for a dirty story, right? Not enough, is it? You want the colour of their panties? I will tell you. One had the red lacy kind, and the other had mickey mouse. Don't ask me why, I also don't know. These white people are crazy.

One girl said 'I really like the song why by nicole norderman' and I thought, holy cow, it's mr. brown in disguise. That was scary. Then again, it just proved that government agents are everywhere, even in Amsterdam.

4) I don't have any more dirty stories already. Give you picture.

See, we even cover the sexyblogger meme.

5) If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you will realize that I have the most variable writing style, ever. I remember that, at one point in time, some douchebag said I had an inconsistent point of view; guess what, asshole, this is because I am not one person! Remember when i said I accessed the internet through a bunch of radioactive mice? A-HA! I actually AM a bunch of radioactive mice!

I know, you are thinking that I will say I am behind the conspiracy, but you are WRONG! I am fighting the power, undercover. I was going to write a post about how I saved the world the other day, but unfortunately, I screwed up. You see, more often than not, this blog should be titled 'the big fuck-up' rather than 'the big fuck'. So basically, yes, that's it. The government wins again. The conspiracists (so called because they are also racists) always win. Were you thinking otherwise? Please, wise up.

So, who's in charge? Obviously the people at, lah! Particularly that James Seng fellow. Anyone who can come up with such a myriad of organization charts must be a government minion. Oh, and mr. brown. Seeing as to how he's so por-pu-lar, OBVIOUSLY he is in cahoots with the government. Nobody loves a good monopoly like the Singaporeans, eh?

charts this nice? MUST be working with the government!

Oh, and they all listen to teeny-bopper music. And eat at MacDonalds. And support Microsoft. All the diversity is a front... a FRONT!


PART 3: List additional rules. For the heck of it.

1) You must follow all the rules of this meme. Particularly this one.
2) You must answer all these questions on your blog. Particularly these ones here.
3) You must post everything on your blog and link to the guy who arrowed you and all the guys who arrowed him because this is a MEME. It has ME in it twice. I am important. I demand your linkage, to support the good fight against conspiracies.
4) Arrow five (or more, also can, I don't care) other people to link to you and answer your stupid questions participate in the community-spirited meme.
5) Ignore all the rules, and just try to finish as many memes as possible in one blog entry. Oh, and link me, because I am cool.
6) Post this letter so that a poor child won't die. IF YOU DON'T YOU HAVE NO HEART, OK!


Dear All:

This is the request of a special little boy who will soon leave this world because he has no arms, no legs, no head and no testicles. By you showing this to as many people as possible, you can give him and his family a little glimmer of hope. That's because on every blog that this is posted on, the White House will donate USD1 towards his treatment. If this is posted on more than 100 blogs, George W Bush will donate both his testicles to this little boy!

On a side note, my balls will also expand knowing that you actually listened to me... but you don't need to know that.

Just think. Instead of that little boy, it could be you one day. Post this on your blog. Its not even your money, just your time!!!


Dr. Kenny Sia
Center of Research into Human Stupidity
University of Uranus

PART 4: Arrowing other people who I wish would link me more often but never link me WHY DON'T THEY LINK ME / whose blogs I think are cool / who I think would oblige me / who I know about because I have no real friends:

1) mr brown, because he's been meme-ing more than normal lately. not at all related to the fact that I want to whore off the traffic from his site a little more. no, it has nothing to do with that. what are you thinking.
3) Don AQ, because he's one of the few people who actually seem to give a shit what I say either way in the blogosphere, and that's mad cool. Oh, also because it will give him something to do other than expanding l.e.w.d, which gets larger and more distended every day.
4) makanguru, because I'm sure that, sooner or later, he'll want a plug for his new blog, and this is as good a plug as any.
5) evelyn lee, because she's a chiobu. Also because her face has been up on this site for so long already, might as well get her to write another useless blog entry glorifying the big fuck.

All of you, please try and finish as many memes as possible in one post, so you all won't have to meme no more. Thanks very much.

PART 5: Good stuff you will get by participating in this meme:

1) You can avoid all memes forever already. Someone arrow you with a meme? Give them a link to the time you did the super pow-ka-leow meme entry and say, 'sorry, did that one already'. If there's a new meme in town, you can just update the pow-ka-leow meme entry. Hurrah! It's like meme vaccination, only it's a meme. Oh wait, isn't that how those vaccines work?
2) You can engage in yet more blog whoring social linking cyberspace community building. This is awesome.

Today's Blog Babe: I ain't blogging to blog (whatever the hell that means); this one recommended by Kenny Sia, ok! I surely feature one, right?

technorati tags: , ,


Blogger minishorts spewed forth...

damn damn damn it.

should have passed the baton on MY BLOG to yours.


but you can wait till later. BLEK.

2/6/05 00:27  
Blogger Daniel spewed forth...

I love your sardonic humour on this one. You're damn right, memes are for bloggers who have run out of ideas.

2/6/05 02:01  
Blogger seekingasylum spewed forth... is an easy post. for those days when your head is vacant of ideas.

then again is it the blogosphere version of jumping the shark?

has brown jumped the shark?

2/6/05 02:26  
Blogger sarah spewed forth...

omg. damn funny can. though i'm retarded and only understood half of it. (: haha. love the pig. trust u to draw something like that. lol

2/6/05 06:16  
Blogger Adrian spewed forth...

Daniel: I did that musical baton shit meme not because I had no ideas, but because I wanted everybody who reads that to go "shit, my musical taste is shite" . . . Ok, I was fresh out of ideas on that day, but still, if you don't like the songs I like, your taste in music sucks.

Big Fuck: Dude, L.E.W.D. MUST expand so that we can achieve our eventual goal of total world domination! Oh, and this pow-ka-liao-meme of yours rocks so much that I wish I'd thought of it first. I guess the next best thing would be to do the meme, which I probably will tomorrow (or the day after), since I have already written a blog entry today.

2/6/05 07:15  
Blogger Daniel spewed forth...

haha no need to get defensive adrian..i certainly wasn't referring to you. you didn't take the meme seriously as far as I can tell, and did you forget I seconded your choice of songs? :)

2/6/05 08:43  
Blogger Adrian spewed forth...

Daniel: As a matter of fact, I did remember. You have good taste in music, dude. Furthermore I wasn't being defensive, as can be seen from the fact that I did admit that I was actually bereft of ideas on that day. Besides that of making fun of the meme, that is. Heheheh.

2/6/05 09:03  
Blogger suspiciousbastard spewed forth...

Distended? That really doesn't sound like a good phrase. Are you jealous of what I am now? I hope that being cool will not cause me to get arrogant.

2/6/05 09:43  
Blogger Daniel spewed forth...

all's cool. oh yea Adrian, check out the video to '18 and life' if you haven't, it's damn good.

2/6/05 11:59  
Anonymous Jol spewed forth...

I like your pig a lot.

2/6/05 12:57  
Blogger Adrian spewed forth...

Daniel: I have it on my comp - err, I mean, really? Ok, I'll go see if HMV has it.

2/6/05 18:56  
Blogger Kenny Sia spewed forth...

WASEH! Lagi more power than mine!

You thought of a Pow-Ka-Leow whilst I only thought of a 3-in-1. Damn!

Great minds think alike.

Unfortunately we just think of the same bullcrap.

2/6/05 21:16  
Blogger Green Ogre spewed forth...

Another funny piece that provides food for thought as well.

3/6/05 01:20  
Blogger Daniel spewed forth...

heheh I get you man.

3/6/05 07:14  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

minishorts: haha...aiyah... bad timing, otherwise can include in my pow-ka-leow meme. but then, the next meme i get, i think i will flush down the cyber-toilet-bowl, unless it's a real sexy meme. but how many of those are there? that's right, none.

dan: i like your use of the word sardonic. as well as the fact that you've taken over the comments. ok, maybe not. but hey, whatever. as long as i keep getting comments which are not necessarily meant for me. it's all good.

seekingasylum: wait a second; what is jumping the shark?

sarah: trust me to draw something like what, a pig? they asked me to draw a pig what, so i did lah.

AQ: did i say you were cool? oh yah, i prolly did. as for l.e.w.d, yah it can expand, but man, it's really really big now.

sb: yes, i am jealous of your lewd membership. so jealous. jealous jealous jealous. give me also leh!

jol: heh. yeah, my pig. heh.

kenny: wah biang, i wish i'd gotten my arrow out sooner, then maybe i could have tricked you to do it also. SIAN!

green ogre: wah, food for thought somemore? what food for thought?

4/6/05 05:32  
Anonymous Christina spewed forth...

lol. It's almost pow-ka-leow, though. Must have that list 5 (or 6 or 7 or as many friends who read your blog) descriptions and then your friends try to guess in the which is about them. And then they do it in their blogs. AND there's also this meme... eh, no end of memes.

5/6/05 11:19  
Anonymous Christina spewed forth...

*guess in the comments, I mean.

5/6/05 11:19  
Blogger Green Ogre spewed forth...

What food?

The Thai Beef Kway Teow at the food centre opposite Harbourfront. Very good. Heh.

5/6/05 22:18  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

christina: got alot lah. lazy to update.

geren ogre: err...yah, wait i come back then say lah. now say also no point.

7/6/05 10:07  
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16/2/07 20:33  
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21/2/07 00:15  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

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I didn’t want to waste any more time teasing her either, though. Instead, when I went down for what she thought would be another tantalising lick, I ran my lips as well as my tongue over her pussy, stretching the muscles in my jaw to try and encompass as much of her as I could. With my mouth clamped over her private parts like a suction cup, I settled down and began to eat. I tried just about everything I could think of; I stuck my tongue as far up her vaginal passage as I could, I took the loose skin on her clitoral hood into my mouth and sucked it out over and over again, I delved so deep and hard that my nose was pushed into her passage. I inhaled again - always inhale, I told myself flippantly.

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4/3/07 14:25  

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