Monday, May 16, 2005

Scan Your HEAD (or ass)

As I was trying to do a bit more work, squeezing out one more page of this never-ending project (by never-ending, I of course mean, never-moving), I rested my head for a while on my desk, and my eyes came to rest on my scanner. You remember those times in your life when you were photocopying notes in the copy room, and suddenly had this compulsion to photocopy your face? Those were such good times, weren't they? It's awesome to photocopy your face! I always had an itching desire to photocopy my ass as well. If nothing else, when people asked you to photocopy something, you could give them a photocopy of your ass as a joke. I think it'd be a pretty funny joke. You may disagree, but that only shows how you are silly.

If you cannot relate to this because you've never xeroxed your face (or some random body part) you have truly lived in vain.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I spent a good half an hour (which should have been spent working) scanning myself. And my ass. It's really fun. By 'really fun,' I of course mean, 'really, really, really, really fun'. Go try it! I'm serious! It's awesome!

Here are my favourite pics:

Look at the snazzy black and white! I look like a total rock star, according to me. Screw what you think.

See, I even made a colour one; don't they look artistlc? I am super artistic, ok!

Finally, i present you the best 'kiss my ass' picture ever made. do you know how hard it is to write on your own buttcheeks? It is very hard.

Blog Babe today: Barffie, because she seems cool.

Edit: I wrote this half falling asleep, so don't mind the shitty writing.


Blogger Darth Sidious spewed forth...

You could always post the first one at dating websites and wait for replies..

I'm thinking,
"Indie Rock Star,
currently looking for groupies."

16/5/05 23:23  
Blogger Gabrielle spewed forth...

u should do the whole face on the glass thing.. haha..

17/5/05 00:21  
Blogger Sancia spewed forth...

booos! check out my entry on 'film quiz'. your name is in it! haha

17/5/05 00:51  
Blogger Dexter Huang spewed forth...

nice butt!

17/5/05 02:28  
Anonymous samuraibunny spewed forth...

eheh. the butt one got skill.

17/5/05 04:07  
Anonymous Jayelle spewed forth...

dude, i seriously hope you took the butt one AFTER the face one.

17/5/05 04:08  
Blogger Wongcheok spewed forth...

HAHAHA good point made by jayelle.

and i agree with samurai bunny -the butt one, skilled to the max. fuckinggg ownage!

17/5/05 05:34  
Blogger Barffie spewed forth...

I scanned myself with my office scanner before, while people were looking at me like I'm some freak. When I showed them the pix they were impressed ok!!!! I got different hair arrangements but I didn't manage to save the pix before they got deleted. DAMN.

17/5/05 07:31  
Blogger alice spewed forth...

Ha. I think you are fucking bored to do all that. But, wait. I couldn't help to notice your artistic juices!you really have them!Keep on growing, that. Btw, why scan your butt when you are big in fuck? tUrn ard and do it again! heh.

17/5/05 09:53  
Blogger YellowPony spewed forth...

If anyone asks me about my day, I'll be like, "Today I saw/got a fine piece of ass." And then I'll seem all impressive and sauve and appropriately slutty.

17/5/05 11:21  
Blogger Adrian spewed forth...

Wait . . . so you have words on your arse now? Dude, this is totally the time to go streaking.

17/5/05 11:57  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

darth sid: siao. i might have looked like a rock star, but, err, not really.

gab: i DID the whole face on glass thing, i thought.

sancia: I don't do memes, but I might do a variation of it on my livejournal. see my mood, lah.

flamekid: i know.

samurai: wah, seriously, it was damn hard to scan my butt. i basically had to click, jump, position myself so my weight wouldn't make the scanner stop moving (I failed at one point, hence the zig zag on my asscrack), etc etc - it was hard.

jayelle: OF COURSE NOT LAH. ok, maybe i put my face there again, but i wiped it first. aiyah, at the end of the day, it's my own ass, it's (quite) clean and you know what, i'm still going to use my scanner. whatever lah.

wongcheok: i'm totally going to use that kiss this picture as a fuck you from now on. it's such a wonderful fuck you, i think.

barffie: quick quick, go take again, and blog them. do it do it do it!

mecardios: errr...thanks, i for the other request, eh, i shy leh, miss - backside is ok lah, but this is not a prOn site, ok!

jess: your comment makes me smile; a hot babe like you can always get a slice of lovin' at chez big fuck.

AQ: no lah...i erase liao lah. think i never bathe is it?

17/5/05 13:19  
Blogger suspiciousbastard spewed forth...

Er? No ass hair? You must be really clean shaven. (Did the glass support your weight or were you hanging on to something?)

17/5/05 16:37  
Blogger Evelyn spewed forth...

You sure thats your ass?

Where got so nice one.


17/5/05 22:11  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

yeah, eh. where's the ass hair?
"harold and kumar" eh? rofl.

no. wait. if you do, you didn't use your roommates' scissors right?

woohoohoo ah ah ah weeee. bloody hell i need a break.

18/5/05 01:19  
Blogger jllt spewed forth...

You had a brazilian?!

18/5/05 10:20  
Blogger The One spewed forth...

not bad eh. fine piece of pretty smooth ass you've got there. at least the picture's quite clear, unlike situations which results in the lower middle bits of the picture getting fogged up.

18/5/05 10:23  
Blogger MaKan GuRu spewed forth...

I recommended this post to tomorrow, but i neber use you ass photo. See if cowboy passes it.

18/5/05 11:19  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

sb: hahaha...actually, got another picture lah, with super emphasized asshair. it's all about the clenched buttcheeks, because i was trying to awkwardly suspend myself over my scanner and yet press my buttcheeks to the glass at the same time. it was a work of engineering, ok. My arms got damn tired. You see that zigzag in my asscrack? At one point I sat too heavily on the scanner, and it jammed for half a second.

evelyn: hey, the last girl who saw it said i had a nice ass.

g: like i said lah, got another scan with ass hair one, but it was a little too gross for posting, sia.


eka:'s artistically edited, man.

makanguru: HAR??? THIS POST??? SIAO BO?

18/5/05 12:01  
Anonymous samuraibunny spewed forth...

chinese boys dont have butt hair right?? it possible to put your scanner on a chair? then u can press the button then gently sit down thereby reducing the chances of cracking yr scanner or giving it post-traumatic stress syndrome? or even sit down and press "scan". then no stress. just one lovely butt-scan.

18/5/05 16:59  
Blogger Linda Chia spewed forth...

"hey, the last girl who saw it said i had a nice ass."

Don't bluff! I demand to see a coloured butt scan!!!

Else a nice picture of your bare ass will be fine too.

POST IT!!!!!!

18/5/05 20:30  
Blogger The One spewed forth...

post post post!
eh, did u write the words 'kiss this' on ur actual ass or on ur virtual ass. hahaha.. you're damn farny.
damn damn damn damn. i'm goinggggg NUTS! (no i can't see ur nuts). my freaking exams are coming and i can't do any damned questions!

19/5/05 21:54  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

samuraibunny: i tried it, lah. cable not long enough. as for my butt, that's a secret.

linda: you think i so cheap one ah? you must give me some incentive... i'm sure you can think of something, miss. heh. heh.

eka: yes, i did, with a sharpie. on my ass. it was the only way to do it; must look real, mah.

20/5/05 00:31  
Blogger CELLE spewed forth...


21/5/05 14:01  
Blogger Moon spewed forth...

were the wordings on yr butt created by photoshop?

just wondering...

25/5/05 12:06  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

celle: not for sale, but for you we can work out a trade. heh. heh.

moon: yes, if by 'photoshop' you mean, 'my trusty marker'

26/5/05 05:18  
Blogger St Louis Cardinals BUFF spewed forth...

Ich war Aussehen für Dies. Uhren

Aber ich stimme überein, dass Sie sehr gutes Bloggen Talent haben

3/10/05 19:18  
Blogger nope spewed forth...


I'm sorry for being intrusive in to your blog. But I am Melissa and I am a mother of two that is just trying to get out of an incredible financial debt. See my hubby is away in Iraq trying to protect this great country that we live in, and I am at home with our two kids telling bill collectors please be patiant. When my husband returns from war we will beable to catch up on our payments. We have already had are 2001 Ford repossessed from the bank, and are now down to a 83 buick that is rusted from front to back and the heater don't work, and tire tax is due in November.

I'm not asking for your pitty because we got our ownselfs into this mess but we would love you and thank you in our prayers if you would just keep this link on your blog for others to view.

God Bless You.

Melissa K. W.
To see my family view this page. My Family

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