Thursday, May 05, 2005

How to Make Your Blog Famous

As predicted, I cannot stay away. I have no self-control. Anyway, I thought of something I wanted to say, and realized it wouldn't take me very long to say it, so here it goes:

A while ago, Steve McbloodyDermott, who, incidentally, you might as well vote for in the upcoming freedom blog awards (support the home team, mah, even though he isn't really Singaporean) called the Singaporean blogosphere infantile, and that pissed me off, and I wrote a reply, and everyone else was pissed off, and there was a lot of neh-neh-ni-boo-boo-ing and name-calling for a while, and some pretending to be mature from me, when I really wanted to neh-neh-ni-boo-boo him, and say he was childish for calling me childish, and call him names like stinkyhead, because I am super mature.

Then, you know what, I realized that, while there may be some cool, intellectual (read: nahbehchaocheebye-boring) blogs like Shianux (no offence, man, your blog is cool; I'm just too stupid for it), it is actually kind of true that, when it comes down to it, we find silly faces funny. Remember the last big meme that hit us? Yes, that's right, the sexyblogger meme - I just realized that, when it comes down to it, this was all about stupid faces. Hell, even I submitted my (admittedly brilliant) collection of stupid faces.

Since then, I've noticed that almost every blog entry with stupid faces gets plugged faster than a leaky dyke in Holland. I remember Celly's entry on silly faces; that post really catapulted her to stardom when it was picked up by Cowboy Caleb and the mighty mr. b. Now, Celly is a silly face specialist. Her blog is rapidly gaining stock. If blogshares gave you money instead of that virtual shit I like to call 'wanky points,' I would have invested in Celly and made a goddamn fortune.

Next, we have another rising star in the making, miss JLLT. Now, she was posting pretty consistently good stuff, but then she started putting funny stuff on her face, and the next thing I know, she was tomorrow-ed. Just yesterday, she put up another silly face entry (which, I admit, is pretty damn funny) and she kena tomorrow-ed again. Two out of two is a pretty damn good success ratio, I think.

If you look at the mighty mr. b, it is quite true that he, also, enjoys making silly faces. Let's face it; other than xiaxue, no Singapore blogger can claim to be bigger than the brown. So, the question remains, are silly faces a surefire way to success? Will all of you find it damn funny, for example, if I take a silly face picture of myself? If so, I am more than happy to oblige. I am not bad at making silly faces, you know.

TADA! Here's my impression of Sadako! Funny or not?



Oh, wait, sorry, Sadako must be more scary, right? Redo, redo!



HOW? FUNNY OR NOT?

Ok, if my stupid poses don't get you, I always can stick crap on my face. This is almost guaranteed to get a laugh. Things you can stick on your face include:

1) Stationery



2) Post-its.



3) Glassware.



4) Socks and underwear



5) Aiyah, ANYTHING also can, lah! Be creative!



If you don't want to put things on your face, you can also DRAW on your face. Some people find this funny. I would do this, but the last time I drew on my face, everyone at school the next day was asking why I was a 'fucktard'. I don't want to have to explain that again, so I will pass.

Finally, if you are really lost, you can even photoshop your face.

Take your most hamsem face:



...and make it more hamsem.



Who knows? Maybe tomorrow, I will kena tomorrow-ed! Even if I don't, I will get donaq-ed. Failing that, I will AT LEAST be fuck-ed, because this is my own goddamn website, and I can plug whoever I want, even myself! So, what are you waiting for? All of you go make stupid faces and post now! You may be FAMOOSE the next day, and hey, even if you're not, I will plug you, for making silly faces. EVERYONE LIKES SILLY FACES! We are infantile! Neh-neh-ni-boo-boo, Mr. McD (eh, remember to vote for him, ah! Oh, and while you're at it, tell him the link to 'more details' in his sidebar is screwy, because his html reference is wrong)! We are all INFANTILES!

Oh, wait, maybe that's just me.


Nevermind, hor? We are all friends here!

Ok, now I must go back to writing. Byebye!

Today's Blog Babe: Keipopnation (now known as them chickens is ash and i'm lotion, though I like the old title better); Kei is hot. Kei is cool. Kei is from Chicago. Kei is Japanese. Kei is in Paris. Kei is international! Go see Kei now, and tell her I make a silly face at her, because maybe she'll think that's funny.

101 Comments:

Blogger MaKan GuRu spewed forth...

Fuck man, i hope your parents don;t see this, or else they will be wondering what the hell you are dong over there! funny funny shit as usual bro.

5/5/05 00:58  
Anonymous luminosita spewed forth...

Despite my intuition and better judgement,
i went to Shianux site..
Bigfuck.... you are right lah!
its really nahbehCHEEbye boring...
and CHEEm... i have no idea why i would be interested in a blog with no pictures just pure words.. as if i dun have enuff to read already! But no offense intended lah
i just have short attention span and of course the idea of reading about dr chee doesnt really appeal...

5/5/05 02:01  
Anonymous luminosita spewed forth...

Despite my intuition and better judgement,
i went to Shianux site..
Bigfuck.... you are right lah!
its really nahbehCHEEbye boring...
and CHEEm... i have no idea why i would be interested in a blog with no pictures just pure words.. as if i dun have enuff to read already! But no offense intended lah
i just have short attention span and of course the idea of reading about dr chee doesnt really appeal...

5/5/05 02:01  
Blogger jllt spewed forth...

Maybe if you have some shit stain on ur briefs, it will be sexier? :D

5/5/05 03:44  
Blogger Adrian spewed forth...

Dude, you had me cracking up, man! HAHAHAHAHA!

5/5/05 06:23  
Blogger CELLE spewed forth...

HAHAHAHHA!!! huehuehue heuheuhue...

aiyooorrrr.. i wonder u got study anot? but tell u the truth.. i think ppl wittier during exams.. coz stress.. so squeeze out the juice dudeeeee..

5/5/05 07:20  
Blogger CELLE spewed forth...

questions: heh.. that kei girl is cute.. but the japs really do the V signs all the time ahh.. got anything to do woth the country's national handsign anot? or watever.,,

and also.. heh.. why everytime take photo u wearing same singlet one???

5/5/05 07:24  
Anonymous Other spewed forth...

well..when the most influential blog owners like making faces then its bound to afflict everyone else as well...and since they are the ones governing tomorrow as well.....

"squeeze out the juice" - that could have other unintended connotations

5/5/05 07:25  
Blogger The Legal Janitor spewed forth...

wah liew, dun scold me lah, anyway schnorng you bluff only one, say you're not smart enough.

5/5/05 09:06  
Blogger MaKan GuRu spewed forth...

BROTHER IT WORKED! YOU GOT TOMORROWED! LOL! So your theory worked man! Stupid faces = lots of traffic.

5/5/05 09:53  
Blogger Ah 9 spewed forth...

eh dude...i granted ur wish. Now bow before me!


lol...juz kidding.

Today is a good day, so i shall be nice.
=D

5/5/05 09:58  
Blogger ~*Starryluvly*~ spewed forth...

lmao! You sure know how to crack a girl up.

5/5/05 10:15  
Blogger Sancia spewed forth...

oooh and i added you on my LJ list of friends. do add me back so you can assess my locked entries x) write more more more !

5/5/05 10:39  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

makanguru: haha...i was chatting with my mom, and she saw the fact that my msn nick was 'should go to school more often'; i also had that handle of whiskey in my user picture, so i think she ALREADY wonders what the hell i'm doing over here. oh, and re: getting tomorrow-ed; what are you waiting for? go take pics of stupid faces sial! SCARLY CAN GET FAMOOSE!

andy: hahaha...i told you lah. not that it's not a good blog, we're just too un-intellectuar.

jllt: eee....then i will be walking around with shit on my face, and people will call me a shithead! THEN HOW????

AQ: hahaha...fanks man!

celle: Aiyah...i think you're right...and it gets LAGI WORSE when you're trying to write a thesis! as for kei and japs, haha...i have a whole collection of pictures in japan, and every other one got the v sign one. I was so influenced that even I've started doing it all the time. Funny, what. Finally, my singlet - I usually blog after my shower, you see - I don't like wearing thick thick shirts to sleep, so I wear singlets. That's why you always see me wearing the same goddamn thing to sleep. Oh, that, and the fact that I never do laundry, because I am the laziest mofo in the whole world (kidding).

other: what connotations could you POSSIBLY be referring to?

shianux: solli solli! I oredi say lah, it's quite cool - got a lot of hits today, you know!

9: hahaha....fanks, man! thou rocketh! i cyber hi-fiveth thee!

starryluvly: for some reason, i read your statement and picture eggs. perhaps this is because i am missing breakfast.

sancia: i shall LJ fren you as well. hurrah! now we are cyber frens! so good, hor?

5/5/05 10:41  
Blogger *~*Michelle*~* spewed forth...

White is for amatuers! Get some colored skivves! :)

5/5/05 10:50  
Blogger shuddupfirst spewed forth...

so disgusting

5/5/05 12:43  
Blogger The One spewed forth...

haha. you're still as farny as ever :P i'm bloody bored like hell here. when i'm DAMN xian of my work, i'll come and peruse ur blog. haha. catch ya later.

5/5/05 12:47  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

wah lau.. i hope your underwear was clean

5/5/05 13:18  
Blogger sunflowr spewed forth...

*clap clap* what do we get to see next? hee... ;)

5/5/05 14:34  
Blogger CELLE spewed forth...

eerr,, u wear sngleetsts.. dowwn theree in the rusa ntot cold ddmeehh???

5/5/05 14:35  
Anonymous sugarrush spewed forth...

wahahahaha.. i can't believe u really wear an underwear on your head. is that yours? i'll faint if it's not. wahahahahaha...

5/5/05 16:30  
Blogger suspiciousbastard spewed forth...

Wah. Have you washed your underwear?

5/5/05 17:51  
Blogger MaKan GuRu spewed forth...

J i want to be cowboy like and maintain a sense of mystery. he is Batman, and i shall be FATMAN!

5/5/05 21:10  
Blogger Ah 9 spewed forth...

and im Dat-man. lol...nah...

5/5/05 21:36  
Blogger Shortphat K spewed forth...

J, You are one big attention seeking blog whore you....muahhhaha....pysche!

5/5/05 23:12  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

michelle: i have other colours, silly. those were just the only clean ones i had.

IA: HAHAHA YOU THEN DISGUSTING! PUI! heeheehee.

eka: errr...thanks for the compliment, i guess. i see you checked out evelyn's blog too. she's chio, hor?

anon: no, i actually like the smell of my genitals. duh.

sunflowr: hahaha....what do you want to see, miss? you trying to hints something issit?

celle: now SPRING TIME lah. belly nice outside! shiokness.

sugarrush: yes, it's mine, but i let chiobu wear it first, because i'm a hentai pervert. aiyoh....you think i really so gross meh?

sb: to be honest, i never even wore that underwear before...it's the only white one i have, and i don't like white undies.

makanguru: aiyah, want mystery, wear MASK lah! wear mask oso can make stupid faces one.

9: then i'm hat-man, and wear hats. yeah, spastic. i know.

shortphat: wah biang, don't liddat say me, lah! knn!

6/5/05 00:45  
Blogger Hai~Ren spewed forth...

If you actually put women's underwear on your head, hmm......

6/5/05 00:52  
Blogger Shortphat K spewed forth...

Aiyah, but u r still everyone's fav blog whore...muahhauhahhah

6/5/05 01:00  
Blogger aLusTrieL spewed forth...

heya~ thanks for dropping by my blog. And also for brightening up my stressful exam days with your silly posts. Oops. Did i just say u're silly? hehe But u are lah..sumtimes. :P Take care~

6/5/05 01:02  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

h~r: I don't lah, don't be silly.

shortphat: haha..err...cool? ok.

alustriel: yes, i know, i am silly. ah well, silliness is another way of saying cool.

6/5/05 02:17  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

i think you are really ugly. serious.

12/5/05 01:17  
Blogger kalisekj spewed forth...

Hey, I have enjoyed...your blog is informative - even entertaining.

I have a halloween sites. They pretty much covers costumes and masks related stuff.

Thanks again and I'll be sure to bookmark you.

4/10/05 20:00  
Blogger Connor Wilson spewed forth...

Every year my son Dylan and I have been building our Halloween animatronic display. This year we added 12 new figures and my wife had been making the clothes etc. but then I clued in that Halloween Costumes were the ideal solution - ya, ok I'm slow but...This year is really cool because we've done an HP Lovecraft display that I'm sure he'd appreciate but I'm not so sure he'd approve of this - The Necronomicon - Is it just me or is that just plain goofy ? Anyway, everybody is doing their own Haunted House thing now but hey - it's fun and if you've got kids I really suggest you try it yourself if you haven't already. It's a nice change from the usual Christmas Lights routine and a lot of scaaarrry fun. Happy Halloween everybody.

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24/10/05 01:20  
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Chercher le temps et quelques comment terrien ici.

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Je devrai revenir plus tard.

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25/10/05 20:53  
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