Sunday, May 01, 2005

No Idea

Ok. I wrote an entire entry on getting drunk, but then, I figure that, due to the fact that it isn't exactly quality writing, it will never be published. Instead, it will languish in my archives, where archives incidentally mean 'place that I will never ever check for ever and ever because I write so much shit that none of it really ultimately matters'. Anyway, here's the deal - I've had half a liter of Jim Beam; this means that I've had about 200ml of alcohol, right? Considering that Jim Beam is 80 proof, it is therefore 40% alcohol, right? Yes, that's right. I am clever!

When I get drunk, I like to swear a bit.

Here's a picture of how much whiskey I had when I got started:



You can see how much alcohol is in the bottle if you look hard enough. If you can't tell, well, fuck it.

Here's a picture of me 2 minutes ago:


looks like water parade, hor?


I was going to say more, and then I got real drunk and decided to go to sleep instead. Before I go, though:

1) a picture of a cricket (for Evelyn:



Incidentally, this cricket is taking over the world. I don't remember why. I am shitfaced.

2) a quote from Andy Tan: "People who cannot fucking drink, should not pretend to fucking drink alot"

I asked him for a quote, and this is what he gives me? Nahbeh... trying to say I cannot drink is it? Fuck!

Ok lah...I need to sleep. Very tired already.

Today's Blog Babe: Kim, courtesy of Kelvin

Oh, almost forgot:



Chio, hor?

Update: Shit man, did someone hit me on the head with a fucking brick or something? Fuck!

37 Comments:

Blogger airhole spewed forth...

wah u wife damn chio leh.. hahahaha

1/5/05 09:06  
Blogger Adrian spewed forth...

The pic looks a little like Li Ruo Tong (HK actress), so I would say FUCKING CHIO. Oh, and finishing that much whiskey alone definitely raises the level of respect (already high before) I have for you, dude, shitfaced notwithstanding.

1/5/05 09:33  
Blogger Evelyn spewed forth...

I wanted the cricket to wear makeup and have high heel shoes.

NOT TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?!!!

1/5/05 10:36  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

She's alright. I mean compared to this - http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=clapbangkiss

she's singaporean btw.

1/5/05 11:36  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

I seriously think the girl linked above: xanga.com/clapbangkiss have had eyes and nose plastic surgery
because it looked really unnatural and plus see family section pics on October 20,2004 and your featured chiobu http://juicypout.livejournal.com had eyelid surgery too. I might be wrong but nevertheless, really really hot.

1/5/05 12:26  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

AND August 14,2004!

1/5/05 12:27  
Blogger spatick spewed forth...

woah u are waay hardcore dude

1/5/05 12:42  
Blogger Mail Order Bride spewed forth...

whoa thanks alot la 老公! Thanks for the plug yeah? :)

1/5/05 14:36  
Blogger Wongcheok spewed forth...

fuck sia. thats alotta whiskey. seriously, i am fucking impressed.

1/5/05 14:46  
Blogger Mr Miyagi spewed forth...

Hah! Back in my day....

1/5/05 16:18  
Anonymous Julie Fredrickson spewed forth...

Joel,

Yo, I found your blog via Evan Druce (your old roomie, we are buds) I used you as a punch line to an article I wrote for the Chicago Weekly. Moda Show Review in case you are interested. Link me up and i'll link you to aid your cause for higher rankings and such. Julie

1/5/05 16:41  
Blogger shuddupfirst spewed forth...

SO, I WANT MONEY GIVE ME MONEY SO I CAN GO SHOPPING EVERYDAY WITH YOUR MONEY. MWAHAHHAHAEUIAEHRIAHERIUAHERIUHAEIRUH
AEIRUHAIUERHIAUERHRHIAR *DANCE MACARENA* SO MANY HW TO DO, SO STRESSED -____-~ GIMME MONEY SO I CAN BE RICH FOREVER AND NO NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL THEREFORE NO NEED TO WORK TO TRY EARN MONEY. MWAHAHAHAHAHHEUAEUAEHUEUHE
-Irene

1/5/05 18:17  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

airhole: AHBODEN? hahahaha.

AQ: I took pretty long to drink it lah...and it wasn't that much, right? Plus, I felt like shit after drinking it. To my credit, though, I did not puke. Also, I was drinking alone, which increases the loser factor.

evelyn: It came from the fact that I was shitfaced. Too bad.

anon: clapbangkiss is chio, but then, unfortunately, she is on a list. a list of girls i am not allowed to feature, for fear of getting my ears pulled. don't ask.

anon2/3: hahaha....OK POCKY I BELIEVE YOU....as for juicypout and eyelid surgery, I'll be sure to ask her. Unless I forget. Which I probably will.

spatick: no lah, i'm not hardcore. just bored.

老婆: any time, dahling. I suppose I get kisses, now, right?

wongcheok: Is it? Hmm.

mr miyagi: alamak, this one wasn't a challenge lah... i never claimed to be a good drinker.

julie: haha...higher rankings where? since you're so business-like about it, i'll give you a plug. it'll all be a bunch of singaporeans, though, which makes for a strange audience, doesn't it?

IAIA: WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME YOUR MONEY, SILLY WOMAN?

1/5/05 19:15  
Blogger Adrian spewed forth...

Yeah, it wasn't that much, but drinking alone always decreases my capacity for alcohol. I dunno why either.

1/5/05 19:56  
Anonymous Sugarrush spewed forth...

Hey.. I think you look a little like Alex To (Du De Wei).. especially in his music video "Wu Xin Sang Hai".. haha.. Go check out that video.

1/5/05 20:45  
Blogger Lion spewed forth...

keep up the good work on the blog babes.keeps me coming back for more...

1/5/05 21:18  
Blogger Lion spewed forth...

anonymous:i do not get what you mean about a nose job and eyelid surgery of xanga.com/clapbangkiss . looks kinda the same in the current pics and the 20th Oct ones if you ask me.altho she does have a perky nose and nice long eyelashes

1/5/05 21:28  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

AQ: Haha...yeah...I suppose it does, doesn't it? Ah well, it's not like I spend every day drinking alone, and I figure a webcam is pretty good company...

sugarrush: Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I have no idea.

lion: Yes, I will keep posting babes' websites. It's not like I have anything better to do, after all.

1/5/05 23:58  
Anonymous mickey spewed forth...

http://www.talkingcock.com/html/lexec.php?op=LexView&lexicon=lexicon

i found a singlish dictionary. now i know what "chio" and "beng" mean! woohoo

1/5/05 23:58  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

Mickey you fool, I had that very same reference in the sidebar, silly!

2/5/05 00:07  
Blogger Little Miss Drinkalot spewed forth...

The secret to heavy drinking and not having to wake up feeling like you've been hit on the head with a fucking brick, is to throw up. Induce, if necessary. After that, can go for round two even.

2/5/05 02:03  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

ure attached....how can!!!! BBOOOHOOO

2/5/05 07:05  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

LMD: yes, usually I throw up, and drink a lot of water ... my reflexes are tuned for beer, though, seeing as to how I almost never drink hard alcohol neat. I really don't know what got into me, drinking whiskey straight out of the bottle. It's a lot more insidious than drinking the same alcohol content worth of beer, because I didn't feel as sick as I normally would have... until the next day, that is.

anon: hahahaha...why? you jealous ah? don't worry, my 老婆 says she's a swinger. send me your pic and i'll ask her lah.

2/5/05 08:37  
Blogger Hai~Ren spewed forth...

If there's one thing I love about your blog, it's your daily Blog Babe feature. Heh heh heh... keep 'em coming!

2/5/05 10:04  
Blogger Lion spewed forth...

everyone loves the blog babes!
here is one to check out: http://starryluvly.blogspot.com
she dared me to do it, now I have hereby officially done it cos she has not posted anything in the last few days and I am tired of waiting. hee...

2/5/05 11:49  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

hai~ren: hmm...i know lah...that's why i keep them coming... we're working hard for you every day at bigfuck.blogspot.com

lion: haha...i've seen her site before...where are the pictures, leh?

if she's cam shy, you can ask her to apply for blog cover girl...with a nice pic, of course...

3/5/05 10:10  
Blogger ~*Starryluvly*~ spewed forth...

erm, somehow I don't remember daring lion to plug my blog.. although i mighta said it while I was high on... chocolate.

And I am not cam shy! I did post a picture of my (jeans-covered) ass on the site - if you'd only look for it =p

3/5/05 10:38  
Blogger Lion spewed forth...

well there are pics in her picture links but not much else besides that in the public domain.maybe it is time she posts more of the pics she keeps telling us she would take ;)

3/5/05 10:57  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

starry: hahaha...ok will go look again.

lion: yalor...make sure to pressurize friends to post pictures; such is the duty of all good, hot-blooded males.

3/5/05 12:06  
Blogger Lion spewed forth...

i will. STARRYLUVLY...post more pics of your good self,ya??

4/5/05 00:02  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

yes, this girl clapbangkiss has indeed went for plastic surgery before. i've seen her before and after in real life before. but she had her face done quite a long time ago already. she has had her double eye lids done (there are pictures to prove - when she closes her eye, you can see the cut line), and also, her nose. she inserted a nose bridge. analyse her pictures closely and you would realised. but nevertheless, though it was the work of the knife and not The Man Up There, the surgeon did a good job, she turned out really pretty.

8/8/05 00:56  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

all these "anonymous" people talk about girls like juicypout n clapbangkiss having plastic surgery but how do they actually KNOW FOR SURE? do they even know them personally or seen them b4? it really puzzles me y ppl say that. they look naturally pretty to me! the girls seem to be poor victims of gossip n jealousy tht comes along with the lil bit of fame n attention they've received.

8/8/05 03:19  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

well, i guess if u look at clapbangkiss's pics with her family, the resemblence is there, but i guess if u've gone for surgery, there would still be a family resemblence. however, i do believe she's gone for surgery. her nose looks so diff from the rest of her family. i guess if she wants to prove she's not had help from surgery, she could easily post pics from when she was younger, and since she refuses, u know why. :)

7/9/05 12:01  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

Hey, this is regarding the clapbangkiss girl, she's reallly really gorgeous. As for the surgery thing, she could be adopted? or her father might not be the actual one in the pics cause she only resembles her mother

1/10/05 08:33  
Anonymous schmucks spewed forth...

whats the deal with having to look like your parents? i find from seein ppl around me that only 50% actually bear any resemblance to their folks. i even have a malay friend whose bro looks chinese!

4/10/05 18:14  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

http://photobucket.com/albums/c258/dawnyeomemories
pictures paint a thousand words

9/11/05 07:57  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

This is very interesting site... here

15/3/07 13:11  

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