Writing About Me

Today, someone said that my blog wasn't very personal. Have I said before that I think my life is kind of boring? It really kind of is, you know. I mean, I usually wake up, sit around all day, play games, get on the internet, rue my lack of productivity, and then go out and get a little drunk. Yeah, that's pretty much all I do. Granted, from time to time, I put on a performance of some sort, but I'm sure nobody wants to hear about all the shows that I've been in and stuff like that, right? What silliness!

However, given that it's kind of cool to have a person behind the posts, I figure it's about time I do a bit of self introduction - you know, for the readers who don't know me at all.

First, my last name is not Schnorng, alright? My first name is not J either. My name, for those of you who want to know, is Joel. Joel Tan. It's not like it's been a goddamn secret; if you'd done a bit of clever clicking, you could have figured that out a damn bloody long time ago. I just don't like giving out my name on the internet, well, mainly because, why the fuck should I? A couple people have been asking, though, so I guess, to avoid annoying questions, I will tell you! Then the next time people ask my name on the internet, I will say, 'FUCK YOU! NEVER READ MY BLOG IS IT? STOP WASTING MY TIME.'

Man, I feel like I'm on a fucking game show, and I'm introducing myself.

Joel Tan, 23, male, Singaporean from Chicago! Pleased to meet you! Big money big money big money!

What else should I tell you about myself?

People often say I come across as being ridiculously smug. I'd say that, if you had a brain as horribly large as mine, you would probably be smug from time to time yourself. Some people speculate this is all overcompensation because of my relative lack of height. Naturally that is all bullshit. I once read this guy's blog, and he said that he thought I had a Napoleon complex. Meh, what the fuck does he know?

Other than this, I'm nothing at all like my first impression. You know those people who always act one way and aren't really like that at all? I suppose I'm sort of like that. Don't give me all your 'be true to yourself' crap, alright? I don't want to hear it. You're full of shit, and I have a perfectly good time being an asshole. Or at least pretending to be one.

My ambition in life is to make a lot of money without having to work for it. Please help me achieve this aim by giving me money. I will drink beer with you if you are cool. If you are paying, I will go eat dinner with you also. And drink beer. And go shopping. I love people who pay for me. They are my favourite people ever.

I'm sure you're tired of this game by now. If you still want to know more about me, though, ask me questions. Since I'm supposed to be writing my BA, I will do Q & A on my blog! Hurrah! This way I can spend less time writing posts. Everyone wins! To be honest, I feel like the quality of my rants has gone down a little, seeing as to how I'm so distracted. Ask me stupid questions; I can give stupid replies. If your questions don't beget fun answers, though, I will not reply them.

Hurrah!

Nah... Shortphat K give you all blog babe