Monday, June 27, 2005

This Entry Totally Blows

I'm stuck in Chicago until the middle of July with nothing to do. This sucks. I was writing a long, in-depth post about exactly why I am stuck here, waiting for a plane, but then I realized that writing about your travel agent woes is kind of lame, especially when you can't make it very funny. Seeing as to how I'm stranded in the windy city with most my friends gone for the summer, I've resorted to trying to drink my reserve of alcohol while sticking tape to my face; while I'll be one of the first to say how much I love sticking tape to my face, I have to say that it probably won't entertain me indefinitely.

To make things worse, I have absolutely no idea what to write about. Given the fact that I've been, in general, an absolutely craptastic blogger recently, I figure I owe it to my faithful readers to pull out the goods (no, I don't mean my genitalia, you fucking pervert). I'm therefore stuck. It's times like this when you wish you had autoblogger handy.Unfortunately, I'm not sure such a program really exists, so that isn't exactly an option.

I suppose I could do one of those nice reciprocity posts; you know, the ones where you dish out a couple links, spread the traffic around a bit, say how some blogs other than your own are cool and whatnot. I've been reading minishorts a fair bit, and I must say that she's pretty much a mistress of dishing out traffic. I'm still catching up on all the blog entries I missed while on holiday, but I did notice that she finally got round to handing me a role in one of her stories, which was nice of her, even if she did make hurtful comments about my gender, and also call me 'fugly'. Eh, whatever; being the traffic whore that I am, I am obliged to say how cool she is for writing about me.

I figure, though, that I'm bad at dishing out traffic, mainly because I like keeping all the traffic here. What do you mean, you like to read other blogs? You infidels! Other blogs suck, you know.

Other than that, I suppose I could point out a couple of my classic works. Unfortunately, I've decided, upon reading my past entries, that this blog sucks as well. Yes, that's right, my standards are so high that even I can't meet them. This doesn't mean that I have unrealistically high standards. Rather, it means that the whole world sucks. I've been on the internet for about 3 hours straight now, and I can tell you, it sucks tonight. I don't know why, it just does.

Having listed the two options I rejected, I come to the last option - whinging about how I have nothing to write. Given that I spend all of my time whinging, I figure I've gotten pretty decent at it. Man, I wish I had something cool to write about. I wish I had lots of hot babes coming over to give me back rubs. I wish I had a maid to clean my room. I wish the fucking travel agent would get me a confirmed flight home so I could sit at home and vegetate, and then wish I was somewhere else. Oh, life is so hard. I'm going to go get drunk. Oh wait, I'm already kind of drunk. Time to pass out. Fuck.

Hopefully I'll be more entertaining tomorrow.

Today's Blog Babe: minishorts; she wanted to be babe of the month, but hey, you need to send me tantalizing pics to be babe of the month, silly.


Blogger minishorts spewed forth...

hey. tantalizing pics of me are all over the net... btw, have you done that 'which malaysian blogger are you' game already?

i bet you won't get me.

27/6/05 09:58  
Blogger Green Ogre spewed forth...

You sound really down. Take a hiatus. Recharge your batteries. Find a muse. I'm sure one of the "babes of the month" would oblige.

After all, it's for a good cause.

As a last a resort, you could derive pleasure from the suffering of others. Take a human or two. Think of as many ways to cause them pain as possible without them actually dying from it. Hell, this has been going on since kukus ironically invented civilisation. So yeah, torture's a traditional venerated art.

Just suggestions...

27/6/05 21:21  
Anonymous elise spewed forth...

guess who else is in town & likes to drink?

27/6/05 21:40  
Anonymous gab spewed forth...

eh get back to Singapore quick leh...

ur travel agent, sighz.. which means you won't be joining us in tokyo liao. DAMN.

anyway not too bad lah.. chicago in summer is Beautiful. Go to the Point, or downtown, or something. Enjoy the summer !

27/6/05 21:49  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

minishorts: 1) i only put up pictures that are at least semi-exclusive, lah. otherwise everyone see before already where got fun? 2) i did the malaysian blogger quiz thing, and you're right, i didn't get you. who did i get? ah, well, you will just have to guess guess guess!

ogre: i'm not down, just bored. as for taking a hiatus, isn't that what i've been doing for pretty much all of june? cannot liao lah; better start churning stuff out, or my readership will drop EVEN MORE! cannot, cannot. i did some wushu in the park today, that made me feel more alive.

elise: expect a call some time soon.

gab: yah lor; i also damn sian, man. ah well, i'll just have to go to tokyo in september lah. heh. how about a trip to china instead?

28/6/05 02:27  
Blogger The Screwy Skeptic spewed forth...

Oh please. In Chicago with nothing to do? Lies, filthy lies! There's so much to do here it's not even funny, even if you're under 21, which you may or may not be.

29/6/05 23:43  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

you see, by 'nothing to do' i mean, 'nothing i have to do,' which means i will pretty much be doing nothing. unless you want to arrange a get together or something.

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