Totally Awesome Theme Park Day

You know, I just realized that theme parks are so ridiculously expensive because, more often than not, they're a shitload of fun. Yes, from time to time the lines can be ridiculously long, some of the rides aren't that fantastic, other theme parkers are usually royal pains in the butt, and once in a while, the skies will open up and piss all over your parade, but hey, none of this alters the fact that you're given 12 hours or so to jump on as many mind-numbing, death-defying, stomach-wrenching rides as you possibly can, take as many pictures as your camera will allow and, in general, make a total jackass of yourself. I know - what could be more fun?

Being a seasoned theme park veteran, I figure I've come up with a pretty good method for tackling theme parks. I am a total theme park marauder - today I took my little brother to both of Orlando's Universal theme parks - when we weren't squeezing our way past the lines for attractions, or wrangling ourselves places in the express line, we'd be running from ride to ride. Considering we covered two theme parks in a day (pretty thoroughly, too, I might add), I figure we did pretty damn well for ourselves. I spent all day yelling, 'GO!GO!GO! HURRY! QUICK QUICK IF YOU SLOW DOWN CANNOT SIT ALL THE RIDES ALREADY! FASTER FASTER!' one second, then the next second yelling, 'WAIT! STOP! TAKE PICTURE!'

Yes, it might have rained for about 5 hours (or perhaps 5 billion? Who's counting?) and we might have sat next to a bunch of excitable fat people on some of the rides (you know, those twits who spend the whole ride going 'WHOO!! OH! AIYEEYEEYEEEEYEEE!!!' and occupying half your seat with their overflowing buttcheeks, but hey, all in all, it was still an awesome, awesome day.