Thursday, July 14, 2005

I am a Frickin' Champion

Anyone who knows me knows that I lose things all the time; peoples' numbers, money, common sense - I'm known to misplace all this shit from time to time, mainly because I'm a bit of an idiot sometimes. Last night, though, I broke a personal record by managing to misplace my cell phone approximately 30 hours after I got it. Yes, that's right, if I've given you that number, you can stop calling it; even if it did ring, you wouldn't be calling me. Instead, you'd be calling either:

a) Some godforsaken drawer which, at the moment seemed a very clever place to put my phone, but for obvious reasons, turned out to be a not so clever place to lose my phone.



b) Some unknown cab driver, or some cab's back seat, or the handbag of some whore who fortuitously picked up my phone, and very graciously decided NOT to return it.

c) Mutant cats who ate my goddamn phone as I dropped it somewhere



d) A strange hybrid of all of the above.

Damn it, cell phones are like little fish, trying to escape from my pockets all the time. It doesn't help that I hate jeans. I always wear loose pants, which my devious phones wriggle out of. Also, I blame alcohol. It's a well known rule that cheap drinks contribute directly to losing cell phones. After spending most of the morning searching for it (I went through my phone operating SOP - called my phone, which was off, went through my pants, which smelled of smoke, but had no phone, tried to retrace my steps after coming home, most of which i couldn't remember), I have finally concluded that the stupid thing is lost.

Fucking cheebye. At this rate, I should start welding cell phones to my head.

50 Comments:

Blogger Evelyn spewed forth...

U should count your blessings!

At least the phone you lost was some lao cok cok hp.

Whahah...

15/7/05 02:21  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

You think the word 'fuck' is so cool, huh?
I think so too.

Anyway, I guess life will get tougher for you, since it looks like phones will become smaller and more expensive.

Or buy an extra value super size pack of old school pagers. Those you can lose, nnneva mind lah.

~peace~

15/7/05 04:13  
Blogger Adrian spewed forth...

Maybe you could get some of those clever cat-demon-catching dog demons. Show those bloody cat demons who's boss, man.

15/7/05 06:10  
Blogger Sammi spewed forth...

how sweet. i lost my handphone too. in my skirt. and i forgot to take it. =)

15/7/05 07:20  
Blogger misunderstood spewed forth...

that's why phone are getting smaller, it's easier to lose them. then you'll have to buy a new one :)

15/7/05 08:48  
Blogger Gabrielle spewed forth...

where's your next blog babe of the month??? i'm still waiting to see chio bus

losing hps sucks.

its like losing your brain or your right hand or something.

15/7/05 10:38  
Blogger Green Ogre spewed forth...

8 in three years. It's not too bad fater a while. Then you get desensitised to the loss and a whole new feeling of embarassment. It gets bad enough that I try not to show people I know well my new handphone.

15/7/05 13:12  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

Hey man, how about the time you lost our virginity. I hear that cheap drinks and loose pants contribute directy to that too.

15/7/05 16:41  
Blogger KwokSiong spewed forth...

interesting...

16/7/05 05:23  
Blogger Vicnan spewed forth...

I must admit, I've not been a frequent reader. What with the way you bowled me over *fluttering eye-lashes and sigh* at the con, I'm here now!

And perhaps you can get one of those steel chains than connect your phone to your pants? Should help you hang on to it.. unless, of course, your pants are really loose..

16/7/05 09:23  
Anonymous Anonymous spewed forth...

hahha not very smart lah ..

16/7/05 11:52  
Blogger Carousel spewed forth...

Big fuck if you lose your phone. Same applies to a wife.

16/7/05 14:16  
Blogger Sarah Lee spewed forth...

Bigfuck!

'Your photoshop skills not sae very goot leh.'

hope i din cuts u deep hor.

*kishkish* teeheeheeee

16/7/05 14:41  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

evelyn: YOU GOOD. PEOPLE POOR YOU MAKE FUN. CUT ME DEEP DEEP.

truth seeker: i donch think it's cool, i just say what i say. as for phone, aiyah, i just downgrade buy big big one lor. BIG IS BETTER OK, NO MEH?

AQ: HARHARHARHAR. YAH I WANT TO BUY DOG DEMONS. PET SHOP GOT OR NOT sorry caps lock.

sammi: how do you lose your handphone in your skirt? i am very confused.

amithyst: aiyah, i no moneys leh. very sad.

gabrielle: no have already. i am off blog babes. very sian, like makes me look very cheeko like that.

ogre: hiakhiakhiak. yeah dude that sucks.

super nic (i assume): when did i lose what virginity what? i so innocent! really! really!

kwoksiong: cool.

vicnan: aiyah, that's because i suck. it's ok. but anyway, thanks for reading etc etc etc. i like having an audience; it's cool.

andy: bleah.

mugen: i suppose you can only win some and lose some. sian.

sarah lee: WHY YOU SO CUTTING HAR? YOU WANT TO MAKE ME CRY IJJIT? TOO MUCH!!!!

eileen: Cool cool cool. I would do the duct tape thing, but ah well, these things never work. sian.

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