I'm Not a Geek; I'm a VERY POPULAR BLOGGER, OK!

So yesterday was the big blogger meetup. It finally had to happen, and I obviously had to go. I mean, I've been reading blogs, chatting with bloggers online, talking about blogging and, naturally, blogging blogging blogging for the last couple of months, so it would have been totally crazy not to have gone, right? Furthermore, there were free drinks. Given that I am a card-carrying cheapo, I could not stay away. My oh-so-happening friends have been giving me ridiculous amounts of stick for being a blogger, so I didn't really advertise the fact that I was headed to the convention; instead I rolled in oh-so-fashionably late with evie and sandra, sneaked in to the back of the convention, and immediately began schmoozing.

There were a bunch of people talking in the front, but that wasn't what I was there for. I mean, while the sunday times was a little harsh, it wasn't exactly very the exciting. There was no juggling, the bloggers never tell jokes (even Kenny Sia never tell jokes leh! so boring, hor!), no chiobus showed us their nehnehs (until later in the VIP room lah), so it wasn't all that fun. Open mic was a bad idea, lah - everyone who comes and talks will surely be DAMN BORING, can? Interesting people where got so buay hiao bai go and walk to the front and talk cock? Take me, for example. I am damn interesting, ok. Just ask all those people who kept giggling when I was talking cock - I am a damn excellent public speaker, can? Either that or my fly was down the entire time and I didn't notice. Either way, the fact remains - I spoke, and people were entertained. WHY ORGANIZER NEBER ASK TO SPEAK HAR? I NOT FRAMOOSE ENOUGH MEH? HAR???? HARR??? I BELLY HURT LEH!

I would write more about what happened in the convention, but there have been tonnes of reports already. I like blinkymummy's and adrian's the best, mainly because they mention how cool I am (just so you know, I AM DAMN COOL OK! WHY NOBODY ELSE SAY HOW COOL I AM? I feel so slighted.)

The press was there, too, but, as most of you know, all they could say was how boring it was. Again, they interviewed the wrong person. I am awesome for sound bites. Furthermore, I am a semi-por-pu-lar blogger, am I not? People have told me, of course the press won't feature my blog, because of the naughty URL. I say, aiyah, use blanks lah! My friends reply; some people very stupid, cannot fill in blanks one. But you see, if you tell people to fill in blanks, they cannot be THAT stupid, right? Reporters, for example, could quote me as follows:

Joel Tan, who operates an oh-so-naughtily named blog at bigf__k.blogspot.com (must fill in blank hor), said "KNN CHAOCHEEBYE HOW COME NEWSPAPRER EBERY TIME NEBER INTERBIEW ME HAR? I NOT FRAMOOSE HAR?"

You see, events like this, essentially, are the only times bloggers like me get to feel special for being bloggers, I figure. When I'm not blogging, I'm busy getting flak for blogging from my friends, who tell me what a nerd I am. That's why I go to these places, where I can get plastered with other bloggers, where I can introduce myself as Joel, and have people say they like my blog, where I can be the biggest drinker there, where I can get into the VIP room and see nehnehs; that's what these things are there for, right?

After the event, I found my way to china black, where I could barely get to the front of the line by mingling with a bunch of random ah bengs; I'm good at mingling with ah bengs like that, you see. Anyway, I asked them if they read blogs and all, since I'd just come from the conference and was still thinking about blogs.

"Simi brog? Porno si boh?"

Ah well, at least for an afternoon, I got to feel sort of special.