Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Here's a helpful lesson on American lingo:

Ok, so I've noticed that Singaporeans all love saying how they're 'stoned' or list one of their favourite hobbies as 'stoning'; just so you guys all know, it's different here in America. Much different. You can get yourself into funny situations saying these things. You see, in America, getting 'stoned' involves this:



For those of you who don't know what that is, good for you. It is illegal. Unless you live in Holland, in which case, you would be saying, 'oh, that's just weed,' or, perhaps, something that sounds more like 'ah! das guerning zook dem zeuw!'* since you speak dutch'

Yes, in America, being 'stoned' invariably has to do with a drug, specifically, the drug displayed above. That drug is marijuana.

See, in Singapore, someone who is 'stoned' looks like this:


original picture here


In America, however, someone who is stoned looks more like this:


original picture here


So, the next time you Singaporeans go to America, please make sure you know who you're talking to before saying how 'stoned' you feel.

The other phrase to watch out for is 'high'; while you can say you are 'high' in Singapore after a few drinks, you only get 'high' in America if you've been puffing the magic dragon, if you know what I mean. All of you take note! Or don't...not like it matters to me.

* No, I don't speak dutch and no, I have no idea what I typed.

Addendum: The author in no way has any knowledge of drugs. Don't ask him. He's a good boy, you know.

15 Comments:

Blogger Panda Gets Bear spewed forth...

i dunno man--singaporean dude looks like he could be american-stoned. those droopy eyes? very stoned.

30/3/05 22:28  
Blogger ahdokboy spewed forth...

thanks for the tips. I didn't know that.

31/3/05 01:12  
Blogger Daniel spewed forth...

the girl next to him is having funny thoughts.

31/3/05 02:02  
Blogger xander spewed forth...

i think people in sillypore would know a bit more about weed if only they saw the dave chappelle show on comedy central.
oh wait, damnation--the gahmen has not imported that kind of foreign talent.

31/3/05 03:31  
Blogger Adrian spewed forth...

Weed kicks ass.
Uh, I mean, what's that?

31/3/05 06:13  
Blogger just me spewed forth...

right. sure you're a good boy. Gee isn't weed the stuff that grows in gardens n kills other flowers..or something like that? and i think most singaporeans would rather pretend not to know anything like that. someone is always watching *twitch*..you can't trust no one here..*twitch*

31/3/05 09:48  
Blogger CELLE spewed forth...

Ehh.. thanks for educating the sporeans le.. once upon time in a faraway land, i told one Sporean that "Aye..I was so stoned last night", then the bugger gave me two pats on the back and a hug.. like WTF..

*disclaimer: the above nvr really happenned* ..since everyone claiming purity.

31/3/05 10:52  
Anonymous mickey spewed forth...

hey, that guy looks like me

31/3/05 20:10  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

mlle b: He's not necessarily Singapore dude. He's just some random dude who's picture I found off the internet. That being said, you may be right, although this picture was labelled 'ennui', so I doubt he's been blazing.

ahdokboy: That's me, always the educator.

daniel: funny thoughts make for funny posting

lx: I actually have first two seasons. When I come back I can ..err.... lend you one copy. If you're lucky.

adrian: I don't like weeds. What are you talking about? Huh? What? Huh?

Audra: Are you epileptic? So am I. Twitch. Twitch, twitch.

Celle: Heh, celly...if you want to talk about these things, email me lah! Actually, don't. The gahment checks your email. Msn me. Not that I know anything about this, of course...

Wait, what?

Mickey: HOW DO YOU KNOW IT ISN'T YOU????? Oh, wait. Nevermind.

31/3/05 23:01  
Anonymous E.T. spewed forth...

i THINK the author clearly has some knowledge of drugs and are ready to impart some of that to unsuspecting, innocent young boys like me. glad the govt taught me well.

1/4/05 00:06  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

OEI ET DON'T MALIGN ME OK!

1/4/05 00:13  
Blogger CELLE spewed forth...

heuhuehue.. see how touchy the subject is.. aww so fun!

arghh.. who check my mail? mr g? so kay poh rite.. wait amin, gmail sends u ads that's like related to the words u type in the email.. sooooo.. if we type, ganja maryjane grass cowdung... then then.. they'll send a list of dealer worrrrrrrr...
ok la.. more BS , i shuddup oredi

2/4/05 13:38  
Blogger J Schnorng spewed forth...

Dunno leh...my little brother always says don't use gmail because of privacy issues...he's the most computer savvy in the family, so i trust him implicitly. that being said, if you want to send me hot and sexy emails please go ahead. I won't tell people one.

2/4/05 16:48  
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